personal overflow post;

[parodeity]

Comments

[parodeity]

no

[notyourutopian]

I guess it would be hard to give up time travel powers.

[parodeity]

its less that and more it would feel like giving up myself at this point

[notyourutopian]

I don't think I'll ever understand how you manage to be okay with so much of this.

That's not an insult, for the record. I'm a little jealous.

[parodeity]

idk if its being ok
so much as just remembering so much
?

[notyourutopian]

Not sure who you'd be if you didn't know it, now?

[parodeity]

no i just
i know who i am

[notyourutopian]

Hah.

Well in that case I'm definitely jealous.

[parodeity]

i mean
dont you know who you want to be?

[notyourutopian]

I
I mean sometimes?
I know what I want to DO
Most of the




No, not really.

[parodeity]

i mean
do you know who you dont want to be then?

[notyourutopian]

Yeah
Unless there are a lot of things about her I don't know.

[parodeity]

you wont know until you remember more unfortunately

[notyourutopian]

Yeah.
That's the part that drives me mad I think.
They say we are these people.
That we're remembering who we were or becoming them or whatever.
But then we get these useless little moments that don't actually tell us who this person we apparently really was!
I get to see her murder someone
Or be a terrified child.
Or hang out with a bunch of her sisters it

Maybe I wouldn't be so angry about it if she seemed like more than just snapshots.

[parodeity]

yeah
it helps when you have the framework
or when you
see enough to know things i think

[notyourutopian]

Yeah...
I keep waiting for that one piece that will make it all make sense.

[parodeity]

the focal point

[notyourutopian]

right
Or the lynchpin or the key or whatever you want to call it.

I just wish it would make sense.

[parodeity]

have you tried writing it all down
and trying to like
piece it together in order

[notyourutopian]

I've written down all the memories I've seen from her.
And tried to make a timeline but

There's years in between some of them

[parodeity]

yeah that sure can happen
whats the outline tell you so far

[notyourutopian]

The city was intense and there was some kind of civil war?
And her mother was completely mad
But so were most people

And sometime around when the other Eleanor was seven or eight, she was kidnapped and had some awful things done to her.

[parodeity]

like
human experimentation awful
?

[notyourutopian]

Yes.
She was drugged, had her DNA altered, and had some kind of animal implanted in her stomach.

[parodeity]

like
a bug animal or a mammal animal