personal overflow post;

[parodeity]

Comments

[parodeity]

why would you do this to me an innocent if you liked me a lot
good lord

ill invest in a poker face to hide my dead inside interior
wait already got one nvm

[maskreant]

because if i must suffer, you must suffer autotune cats with me. i think we might need to film a music video with cats, too. the manager has been acting weird lately...

you mean the shades you also wear indoors? the tint so dark that the police might arrest you on the streets.

[parodeity]

is the manager on something asking for a friend

and wow these shades are killer fashion
they used to belong to ben stiller you know

[maskreant]

stress? probably. i think it's because the owner is trying to appease their loan shark (miss shark is has the app now).

how did you get them? just wondering or else i'm slamming x for doubt.

[parodeity]

whos the loan shark

my best friend bought them for me
for my thirteenth bday
i have the certificate of authenticity actually

[maskreant]

Manon Akamine.

a certificate... that's pretty impressive. what if your best friend is actually Ben Stiller? it doesn't change that you would be indebted to them, though.

[parodeity]

should we be extra polite to her

nah my best friend
is john egbert

[maskreant]

i think? she might have the power to fire us if she doesn't like us.

John Egbert. would it be rude to say that your name is cooler...

[parodeity]

ok ill play nice

also nah because my name is 1000% cooler
also im prettier

[maskreant]

[ good Dave. ]

i can only judge if you show me a picture.

[parodeity]

[ he promptly sends over a candid snapshot of this dude with a four-eyed mutant kitten. ]

[maskreant]

[ ATTENTION LOST ]

that cat is 10/10.

[parodeity]

she is
but you need to rate the humans after

[maskreant]

how do i know you two are actually human?

your friend is cute, but you are definitely cooler looking. cool isn't always the winning factor. you'll never know who rises above in a gladiator battle.

[parodeity]

ok but im hotter right

[maskreant]

[ rating.exe ]

yeah, you're hotter.

[parodeity]

ty i am going to inform him i have yet another vote of confidence against him
he refuses to acknowledge im super hot

[maskreant]

how come? i mean, you are pretty attractive. of course, he isn't that bad, either.

unless he just doesn't want you to parade around with bragging rights.

[parodeity]

hes clearly afraid of the power i would gain from the admittance of the truth
fortunately i am not kept down by his vicious lies of non-admittance

[maskreant]

that's good. i'm sure if you asked him seriously, he would say you're an attractive young man.

... but what kind of power would you gain? i might take back what i said if it's destructive and more than you can handle.

[parodeity]

the power to absolutely devastate him
haha yeah i dont know really
bragging rights?

[maskreant]

i'm sure he'll get used to it, so don't brag too often, okay? you have to make him suffer slowly till the end comes.

but tell me more about your cat friend? if those are clip-on googly eyes, we're going to have a Talk.

[parodeity]

i like the way you think

also nah shes just a mutant cat
because i think she was probably genetically created via science
by a mad cat lady

[maskreant]

woah. that's so cool.

is there more to her? like does she talk? though maybe she would talk about the mad cat lady if she could.

[parodeity]

nah she doesnt talk
shes just cute mostly?
and may or may not be a half genetic clone of a dead cat my sister had
or something
im not clear on that