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[parodeity]

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[gnasher]

[snort]

His dissertations aren't that bad. I do push-ups or crunches when he runs long over telepathy.

[Dave breaks the farty-couch ice, and Rin now feels capable of joining him. up close, he is less deadpan than his brother, but he didn't catch that sadness re; juice. maybe next time all dave's dreams can come true -- until then, enjoy your vitamin c]

Ready when you are.

[Rin's a fairly open book, next to either Strider -- and a kind of striking one, with his sharp teeth and red eyes (though neither should be that new to Dave). he seems a little excited to be watching a movie with a possible new pal (as match-made by a current one), but affecting chill]

[parodeity]

[ whatever, the movie can be on like. a screen. of some sort. who cares it's just a thing that is happening!! dave definitely doesn't seem the least bit bothered by rin's eyes or teeth - not that he plans to take off his shades any time soon, all the same. ]

Sure. [ he hits play.

dave is the sort of movie-watcher, by the way, who is prone to keeping up a casual, humorous commentary off and on. it drives some people crazy. ]

[gnasher]

[it only takes about 4 minutes into the movie for Rin to burst]

Are you fucking kidding --

[the casual commentary does not drive him crazy, because the movie is busy doing that; if anything, it provides relief. as far as the movie itself, he actually laughs a couple times pretty hard, but towards the middle he begins to feel like he's been punched in the eyes repeatedly, and maybe the nuts once?]

[some considerable damage has been done to the chips, and by the end (is it an end? he's not sure. he's not sure of anything anymore), Rin is watching the movie through hands that are dragging down his face]

[he gets why it's punishment. he gets it, now]

This has to be it. There can't be --

[no, there's more]

[parodeity]

[ like. dave kind of figured it was coming? people either hate or love sbahj. his friends all laugh at it and quote it back and forth at him (even karkat can follow some of the quotes, though he refuses to admit to ever being amused or ever liking anything dave does). dirk adores it. other people, though, seem to view it as like, not a cool thing.

aside from his now-dead fans back home, of course.

dave doesn't seem to take rin's bad reaction badly, basically. he does grin when rin laughs, but otherwise remains mostly calm and sort of entertained. he's not 100% sure it's a full punishment, since there'd be no reason for dave to watch it with rin if it were. unless it's a treat for dave, but like.

he thinks karkat probably wanted him to meet this guy, for some reason. ]

There's like, other movies in the series, too.

[ lmao ]

Buuuut I doubt he told you to watch all of 'em in one go.

[gnasher]

[despite just looking like he was about to pass into the next life, Rin suddenly sits straight up, ignoring the stupid noise the couch makes because honestly, who gives a shit about that anymore? so much worse has happened in this observatory tonight. even the fish all swam away]

[despite this, he's dead serious (well, stupid dead serious) when he says]

Put the next one on. One more.

[he's got something to prove]

[parodeity]

Uh. [ an eyebrow raises, but dave is...used to stupidly competitive people.

case in point: his boyfriend. ]

Sure, man. But you can tap out whenever, you know? I won't judge.

[ but yeah okay he will hit play. ]

[gnasher]

[Rin knows he's making it weird, being so hyper competitive, but really can't stop himself. Karkat's going to punish him with a ridiculous movie? Ha! he'll watch another one, right after! what's a ridiculous movie to a guy like Rin, who never loses his cool ever? huh?]

[aaand three minutes into this one, he instantly regrets every decision he's ever made in his entire life]

[but then, just when he is actually considering considering tapping out (that is, entertaining the notion of giving up on something), about halfway through, a miracle happens. it's like his body thinks its 4 am, and everything becomes funny. maybe his brain is broken forever]

[either way, for a transcendental moment in time, SBAHJ is hilarious. this time, Rin still finishes with his face in his hands, but he's also laughing. everything hurts]

Ok. Ok, now we can stop.

[parodeity]

[ hey, at least he had a good ??? time ?????? and dave at least had an awesome time. he likes making people laugh? even if it's desperate 4am laughing. half his irony shields are jokes designed to amuse or distract, and he likes it when they manage the former in addition to the latter.

rin gets a genuine half-grin sideways when he finally calls it quits. ]

Just be warned, there's like, tons more in the series if you lose to him again. Though tbh if he runs out of these, he might make you watch chick flicks.

[gnasher]

[rubs his aching face flopping back against the mattress]

That just ensures I'll never lose to him again, thanks. How many is "tons," anyway...

[trails off into a mumble. he also makes a mental note to never mention that he and Karkat have already watched Titanic together. hopefully his alien pal keeps his mouth shut too]

-- You gotta tell him I asked for another. And not mention the part where I put my head on the floor for a while. Or maybe lost it for a minute. Tell him we watched in contemplative, reverent silence.

[parodeity]

Eh. My alt-universe self had a lot of time to fight the power via movies, I guess.

[ okay but consider: karkat wouldn't know to keep that a secret. and he has likely made dave watch titanic, too. ]

So you want me to talk you up?

[gnasher]

I did ask for another, so it's not complete bullshit.

[a logical point, and then he goes on, reaching for another chip]

I'm thinking maybe you were supposed to be my witness. Like in court. You solemnly swear I passed the trial with grace and dignity.

[Rin, who is an honours student, has not yet put it together completely that maybe Karkat just wants his bros to be bros. he's still looking for the spiteful angle]

[parodeity]

Nah. [ dave shakes his head, secure in his answer. ] Trust me, I know him better than anyone: he wanted to make sure I liked you. Or that you liked me. Probs both at the same time.

[ so, dave's paying attention, since karkat rarely throws people in his direction like this. ]

1/2

[gnasher]

[the surety of that answer is a little perplexing, and the content embarrassing. why does Karkat have to "make sure" they like each other? what's at stake? why did Karkat specifically request Rin become friends with Dave, and set them up to watch a movie that, through its horrific absurdity, could only bring people together, like after some tragic event?]

[unless]

[gnasher]

[did he just go on a date with a guy who never took his sunglasses off?]

...Ch, what's... it to him? That's too embarrassing, isn't it?

[the easy, relaxed, chill facade is gone. he can't believe he got so duped -- of course a romantic guy like Karkat would do something like this]

Not that I don't, I mean.

[parodeity]

[ wow mentioning going on a date with dave to karkat is a surefire way to cause explosions so. good luck there rin if you confront dave's actual boyfriend about this conclusion.

dave raises an eyebrow at the change in demeanor, but doesn't pry. ]

Yeah, you're pretty cool, even though you mixed aj with a bunch of other stuff. [ but it's said casually like a joke: the aj thing isn't a serious dealbreaker (MOSTLY). ] As to embarrassing...well, he gets pretty easily embarrassed, but the truth is he's a giant sap. So it's really not that surprising. Gotta say this is the first thing he's set me up on with anyone here, though, so he must be serious 'bout it.

[gnasher]

[Dave draws the same conclusion (the exact same, there could be no other, much more understandable interpretation Dave is talking about, Rin would know, he's an honours student damnit), and Rin feels a little bit more mortified with each passing second]

[is this because of the things he said about Jack and Rose? is this his own damn fault? how the fuck is he supposed to react to this in real time, with a guy casually talking about set ups like he's known all along, while Rin has showed up in work-out clothes and laughed potato chips out onto the floor at the world's shittiest movie]

[say something!!!!]

Yeah... he must be. [HE SHOULD MIND HIS OWN BUSINESS??? SO WHAT IF RIN SAID HE WANTED A LOVE LIKE TITANIC, THAT WOULD GO ON AND ON?] S-so, do you like swimming?

[sure, go with that, mouth. do whatever!! have a fucking party!!]

[parodeity]

[ ok that's a random topic change but dave strider is the king of those so he doesn't even blink at it, just switching gears without any protest at all. ]

Sure. I didn't used to do a whole fuckin' lot of it since I didn't really live that near to the ocean, but since getting here I've done lots? I think it's kinda calming. You're a fan, I take it?

[gnasher]

[ok. ok, this is fine. talk about swimming until all of the horrifying things that are currently happening stop seeming like they're happening. go to your swimplace, matsuoka, your happy swimplace]

I'm nationally scouted and working towards going Olympic, so, I guess I'm a mega-fan.

[that's it. that's all he has to say about the all-consuming passion of his life, apart from spicy kimchi, which is that he's "a mega-fan"]

[“Cowards die many times before their deaths;
The valiant never taste of death but once.
Of all the wonders that I yet have heard,
It seems to me most strange that men should fear;
Seeing that death, a necessary end,
Will come when it will come.”

― William Shakespeare, Julius Caesar]

[yeah, maybe death will come soon]

[parodeity]

[ dave...continues to not mind rin being weird...this isn't even the weirdest anyone has ever been at him. ]

What do you need to do to go Olympic, anyway?

[ he's mildly curious, although to be honest Sports are kind of a vague concept for him. ]

[gnasher]

[rattles nervously, continuing to Be Weird, but at least that's a topic he can talk about for basically forever without actually needing to tune into himself]

Train your ass off every moment of every day. Regulate your diet and say goodbye to alcohol and anything else chemically recreational. Buy expensive equipment that constantly has to be replaced. Sacrifice your home life, social life, love life, and life outside the pool in general, and hope your team doesn't drive you to murder one of them before you get on any starting blocks.

Then you get scouted by the next level up of teams and coaches and start from the beginning, until you qualify to compete at the Olympic level.

[wait, shit, now he sounds like a closed-off neurotic mess? (rin, you are -- )]

[blurts, horribly self-conscious and showing every bit of it on his face]

Sorry, I haven't done anything like this yet. Because of -- basically because of swimming, like I said.

[parodeity]

[ ?????????? anything like what? ]

Hanging out watching movies? It's fine, man. If you ever get the urge to watch something - and I won't make you sit through SBAHJ, but like, if you feel like watching something Kitkat won't watch - feel free to call me up or whatever. I'll always have the time.

[ because. he's a time traveler. not because he's hitting on rin. ]

Wait, so does this mean you can't do junk food?

[gnasher]

[two conflicting inputs, this time; Dave's calm response about watching movies actually... doesn't seem so datelike... but then I'll always have the time lands on Rin like a judo-kick in the chest]

[what? is? going? on?]

I -- I can, just sparingly. I work out a lot, so I can afford cheating sometimes.

[and now, not only has he insulted the potato chip offering, but he sounds like he's trying to brag about his physique. has anyone ever been more of a mess than rin matsuoka? he doubts it, he doubts it]

[clarifies, because he is just a walking corpse at this point, soon to be a floating corpse when he is dropped off the base and into the sea, his home]

But, I didn't mean movies, I meant, you know.

[enjoy this vague hand gesture between himself and Dave. what a good, non-ambiguous way to hash this out]

[parodeity]

[ ............dave can be dense about some things, but he isn't a complete idiot and rin looks about as flustered as, like, karkat gets whenever he starts flirting.

"you know" is ambiguous, though. he doesn't want to jump to conclusions and scare of karkat's bro? because karkat clearly wants him to get along with rin. so. pissing rin off by assuming things would be a bad idea.

he pauses. ]

Imma need you to say what "you know" is, to be sure we're on the same page here.

[gnasher]

[Rin feel the very last intact part of his soul escape out of his body, like in a gag anime. jk he just feels like throwing up!! that's not your soul, dummy]

[each word comes out with great difficulty, as he's concentrating on only words coming out]

...Getting set up, with a guy I don't know... or like, any... body...

[great. now that he's completely shat this bed let's flip the sheets and start over]

Not that, I mean i'm sure you're great, but I wasn't expecting anything but, you know, a shitty movie and a guy to watch it with? I don't know what Karkat was doing, we should have watched an action movie instead, I haven't seen Point Break in a really long time, but he seemed interested in Titanic, so, here we are!

[So, Here We Are: the words on Rin's gravestone]

[parodeity]

[ ah. karkat is going to kill him. that's dave's first thought, although his second thought is "no, he'd probably worry i would actually dump him for this guy". he holds up his hands in surrender. ]

Whoa there. Uh, we're definitely not on the same page. I'm taken? Like. Super taken. 100% happily taken. And Karkat was definitely not setting you up with me, except as, like, friends.

[ that's clear, right.

...

just to add to the clarity: ]

Like, I love my boyfriend, so. Yeah. Sorry?