parodeity | subnautica ic inbox 1.0;

[Rin feel the very last intact part of his soul escape out of his body, like in a gag anime. jk he just feels like throwing up!! that's not your soul, dummy]

[each word comes out with great difficulty, as he's concentrating on only words coming out]

...Getting set up, with a guy I don't know... or like, any... body...

[great. now that he's completely shat this bed let's flip the sheets and start over]

Not that, I mean i'm sure you're great, but I wasn't expecting anything but, you know, a shitty movie and a guy to watch it with? I don't know what Karkat was doing, we should have watched an action movie instead, I haven't seen Point Break in a really long time, but he seemed interested in Titanic, so, here we are!

[So, Here We Are: the words on Rin's gravestone]

[ ah. karkat is going to kill him. that's dave's first thought, although his second thought is "no, he'd probably worry i would actually dump him for this guy". he holds up his hands in surrender. ]

Whoa there. Uh, we're definitely not on the same page. I'm taken? Like. Super taken. 100% happily taken. And Karkat was definitely not setting you up with me, except as, like, friends.

[ that's clear, right.

...

just to add to the clarity: ]

Like, I love my boyfriend, so. Yeah. Sorry?

Holy shit.

[and Rin's just going to slowly put his hands over his face fully this time, because if he has to look at how horrified Dave looks for another second, his skin will actually start to blister off with how red he's getting]

I -- when you said he wanted to make sure we liked? each other? I --

[this is it. this is finally how it happens, when he maxes out his capacity for fucking up royally and being mortified; he's not coming out of his hands anytime soon.]

I'm so relieved, but I don't think we can be friends now, 'cuz I'm going to swim to Aurora and shove a stick up a Horrorsloth's ass to see what happens.

[ he snorts, but then tries to pretend like he didn't halfway laugh for a second. ]

Dude, it's fine? I'm flattered and all, but - like, I don't think we should push friendship off the table? You do seem cool, and Karkat clearly wants us to get along. I'm not gonna, uh, tell anyone about. This.

[DON'T BE FLATTERED, RUSHES TO INTERJECT]

I wasn't -- on you, I just thought the wrong thing, about why Karkat... [trails off, realising that everything he has ever tried to do in this conversation is meaningless, so] -- Yeah, let's actually make a pact to never talk about this again?

[there. a friendship forged over That of Which We Do Not Speak]

[finally removes his hands from his (still extremely red) face, holding one out for a shake]

[ like HE KIND OF WANTS TO TELL DIRK / KARKAT / ROSE but in the interest of friendship dave reaches out his own hand to shake rin's. ]

No one ever has to know you thought we were on a date.

You broke the deal literally as we were shaking on it. The pact includes us, oi, us especially. I take it back, I don't need to be friends with a guy like this...

[MUCH LESS DATE... RIP]

Hey, we didn't stop shaking yet, the deal isn't fully in effect?

[ but dave will. drop rin's hand while laughing lightly. ]

Seriously, though, don't sweat it, dude? It's chill if you don't want to be friends with me 'cause you don't like hangin' with me, but I don't think that's the case? I can outwait any amount of embarrassment. I got all the time in the world.

[your shitty time puns... he doesn't understand them because #nocontext, he just thinks you're a slacker with tons of free time to watch movies and now I guess chill with swimmers who need to get a grip. in sum, Rin has not learned his lesson about assumptions making an ASS out of him, just him, only him, forever him]

[as a final word, to solidify the fact that he is not a homewrecker, oh my god]

-- I didn't realise you were together. Karkat never said anything. [another interspecies gay romance? is he up to three? shit, Dirk was right, people really don't care here] It's nice you've both got someone, here.

[thinking pure romantic thoughts outside the context of himself is chilling him out. he likes Karkat a lot, so that's some pretty great news, to hear he's got a boyfriend who's here for him]

[but that raises the strange question of]

Are you from the same place Karkat's from, or your brother?

[he sounds like an American, like Dirk, but he knows more 21st century things, like a normal person, and he's also dating an alien and has magic powers. what's up with this shit?]

Uh, yeah, he's never gonna. He doesn't want to go public.

[ currently. dave...has decided he wouldn't mind that, but he's fine with waiting until karkat changes his mind or something. so. ]

We're all from different universes technically but also I guess the same bullshit one?

Ah.

[Rin can understand that; wanting to keep something personal and intimate like a relationship private. he supposes it might even be a little romantic -- and practical, not having everyone up in your business. so, he won't pry more, unless Dave wants to volunteer more deets]

I guess I should get used to "it's the the multiverse's fault" as a reason for everything being confusing basically all the time, with everyone. The worlds I hear about that are most similar to mine actually feel the weirdest to understand -- I mean, alien lifeforms were basically a given with the scale of universe, so meeting Karkat wasn't as big of a deal as it could have been. Hearing about alternate histories of Japan or Earth in general are still weird as hell, though.

I guess it would be to most people? I'm a time-traveler by trade though, so I'm kinda not weirded out by the thought of alt timelines.

-- Like "Back to the Future" time traveling? Or the kind where you can't step on a butterfly or whatever or you'll become your own dad?

N...either, really? I can go back and forth, but I can't do anything that would change anything if I haven't already done it, here. I could back home?

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