[His head cants, considering. It feels like a pop quiz.]
Given how our last Strife went, our day one goals might best be an understanding of how we'll engage with each other in Strifes. That could help with adapting to losing flashstepping, and I can practice my thing on the go if one of us gets hit.
[It wasn't meant as an either-or—it's just the traditional rules he and Jake go by for their wrestles—but if Dave picks just the one then so be it. Probably it's because even if you're pinned you can try to get out but if you are disarmed you can't? (Hah.) So Dirk nods in affirmation and draws his sword from his scabbard.
Which is still weird, but he has managed to get the motion down perfectly.]
[ not remotely. it hadn't been what he'd meant by goals, but he's too used to simply going with whatever bro says and not voicing opinions or objections. dave nods, draws his sword in a too-easy way that took hours of practice alone until he didn't even think, and proceeds to not attack.
even after last time, he won't make the first move. ]
[He cants his head a fraction, still a little surprised that Dave won't. But Dirk has always had a bad habit of playing offence harder than defence, so he moves forward and closes the space and strikes.
It's the same as last time. Dirk is good, he's strong and fast and agile and smart, but he isn't Bro. He isn't that fast or that ruthless. He never really tries to hurt Dave, and he isn't impossible to get at, and his recklessness means he leaves gaps that Dave can get into and use. He isn't aiming for a beatdown. To him, this is a training spar, meant to keep them in shape and get them more accustomed to their limitations, meant to help them learn. The point isn't to torture Dave for hours on end.
And even if it were the goal, he couldn't. Dave is simply better than Dirk. It isn't a huge gap, but Dirk could tell from their first fight that Dave was going to win every time.]
[ dave doesn't fall into the same zone as last time, though it's a similar one. he doesn't let go this time and is careful. no matter how many openings he takes, he doesn't remotely come close to actually harming dirk, perfectly controlled in that respect. he's not relaxing his grip on himself to allow for a mistake like last time.
he aims to disarm as quickly as possible. in other times or places he might test where dirk was at or point out when he's too open or some other things that could be done differently. right now, it's just a fight to get through things as efficiently and painlessly as he can, with the occasional thoughtless dirty trick that won't harm but may frustrate. ]
[ it's still surprising. this time he just lowers his blade, however, and doesn't react visibly otherwise. the lift at the end of dirk's statement paralyzes him for a second because what the fuck does it even mean. ]
...Yeah. [ that seems safe enough. ] You got what you needed?
[He doesn't know how to answer that, and struggles for a moment to find the right words.]
I got the impression that you aren't inclined to be here.
[There's a brief pause.]
I also got the impression you weren't inclined to be there this morning. It doesn't seem like you're enjoying this. And it would sort of... be shitty, to drag you out twice a day to do training you aren't interested in.
[He rubs at the back of his neck.]
Sorry if this is stupidly awkward and reading into things. I majorly fucked up trying to help my friends with things, when they didn't want my help and I did more harm than good anyway. I don't want to do that with you, and I sure as fuck don't want to force you to help me catch up with you if you—if you aren't interested. [If you feel like you're wasting your time on me. He doesn't want to say it. It seems unfair to say.]
This is probably part of the working-things-out thing.
It's trainin'. It ain't meant to be enjoyable, it's meant to be practical.
[ blankly. he sheathes his sword, belated. he has no idea what to say, but it's pretty clear dirk isn't enjoying things, either, if he's this stressed about things and doesn't think it helped at all.
dave shrugs, finally. ]
Look, don't worry about it. I'll tap John for the trainin' or somethin', whenever he's feelin' better and if he doesn't mind. And I can work on the art stuff alone.
[He feels a weird sick feeling in his gut. Like abandonment. Like the sea.
He doesn't fight it. He doesn't say, Training was how I wanted to connect to you. He doesn't say, I dreamed of this my whole life. He doesn't know how to explain how he wanted this to be enjoyable. How he wanted to find a way to reach Dave through this. He reminds himself that they are strangers, and Dave has no reason to want a shitty knockoff version of his Bro.
Instead, he tries to tell Dave some things that are true.]
It helped, I'm just used to going until I'm exhausted. It's how I used to train myself. [So he was confused at how it stopped soon.]
Me and John were talking, and it occurred to me you might not know that I like the way you draw. Anyone can learn to draw photorealistically, if they practice and work on it. It's practical for your magic but that's it. The way you draw on your own is uniquely yours and it feels right.
[ training until you couldn't move and your bones ached or broke and you were bruised to hell and back. yeah, sounds about right.
dave's steadier than he was the other day, though, and he doesn't think he wants to agree to that sort of thing. before he can make a response, dirk changes topics, and he just kind of stares. he's not sure what the hell could have come up to make that a topic between john and dirk - probably john was laughing at dave's skills, which is normal and acceptable - but. ]
...Thanks? [ he tries that out as a guess on the grounds not much can go wrong by just saying thanks. ] I think maybe our learnin' styles are just a little different. [ dirk keeps trying to put him in charge, it's weird, ] There's probably people around who're into trainin' till you drop, though?
[It's all strange and awkward between them, but Dave said he wanted to try to be friends. At least to try to know each other, maybe. Dirk wants to know Dave as more than a splinter of a shadow he loved.]
It's a stupid way to train.
[He says it bluntly, because he knows it's true. He always has. It's cruel and pointless and it doesn't help, it just exhausts you, it just lets Dirk punish himself for not being good enough because it shuts his self-loathing up for half a second.]
I asked you to train me because I thought you might know how to train better.
I jusf...do whatever. [ it's a vague non answer, and he doesn't really expand on the statement, veering aside instead. ] You didn't really seem to like this either.
[ though dave hadn't really expected dirk to do so. he does find the obvious signs of discontent a little strange in a twilight zone sort of way. ]
So probably not the best way to spend time together.
It isn't that I keep losing, if that's what you're thinking. It's admittedly a little embarrassing, but mostly because of the circumstances.
[But Dave is right. He isn't enjoying it. He feels on edge, uncertain and scared.]
Maybe not. [He bites back an apology.] Honestly, I don't know how to spend time with people. Music, movies, discussing bullshit, and sparring is about the end of the list of experiences I've had hanging out with other people, and I'm genuinely unsure which of TV's alternative suggestions actually check out. If there are things you want to do, I'd be interested.
[ it sounds pretty much like a dismissal of the training plan, although dave blanks out at 'things you want to do'. what the hell does he even want to do? besides hang out with his friends, he hasn't put much thought into it. ]
A'ight. I'll ask Egbert later if he's game for sparrin' instead. [ he knows at least one or two other people use swords, too. john will probably not turn him down if he asks the right way, but john will also want to know why. ]
I don't know that there's like a set formula on how to hang out with people. [ said instead of giving an opinion on any of the activities. ]
Sorry. [ he can't think of anything to say back besides that. ] I'm...sure other people can help with your power thing, though? Everyone seems pretty chill about helpin' out.
Yeah, maybe. [It isn't that enthusiastic a monotone. Dave can try to send Dirk away, and maybe he's right. Maybe others can help. But it wasn't others that Dirk wanted help from.] Thanks for doing this much.
You weren't? Bro, you—[Fuck. He goes blank-faced momentarily. When he corrects himself, he is a little quieter, as if embarrassed by the slip-up.] You were incredibly helpful. You set me off on this entire path of trying to learn how to use this ability in a productive way, and seeing you fight only twice has made me reconsider my technique. Like I said, I'm grateful for the help you gave me. I'm just sorry I'm not... [He pauses, biting off self-recriminations, and just gestures helplessly.] ...as helpful to you as you are to me.
[ dirk goes blank-faced after the slip and dave freezes entirely, before crossing his arms and debating tapping mentally at the door of his sister or his best friend.
he does neither, for the moment. ]
I didn't... [ he doesn't know what he didn't. it's easier to run than it is to fight, and dave's less likely to stand his ground when it's just his ground. ] ...like I said, I'm sure you'll do fine. Or better with other people. Whichever.
[ the answer to "did you get what you needed" won't be a question, hopefully, with other people. ]
I should head back and check in on John again. [ a convenient excuse, even if he does plan to do so. ]
[The folded arm feels like a shut door and he doesn't fight.]
Okay, cool. Let him know I hope he's doing better.
[He doesn't make to move himself. He'll let Dave leave and just... go somewhere. That's easier. Dave's instinct is to run, and Dirk's is to sink. There's no water here, but there's a forest he could get himself lost in a moment.]
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Given how our last Strife went, our day one goals might best be an understanding of how we'll engage with each other in Strifes. That could help with adapting to losing flashstepping, and I can practice my thing on the go if one of us gets hit.
Fight to disarmament or pinning?
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[ immediately. he doesn't want dirk touching him. ]
I won't draw blood a second time, don't worry.
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Which is still weird, but he has managed to get the motion down perfectly.]
Ready?
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even after last time, he won't make the first move. ]
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It's the same as last time. Dirk is good, he's strong and fast and agile and smart, but he isn't Bro. He isn't that fast or that ruthless. He never really tries to hurt Dave, and he isn't impossible to get at, and his recklessness means he leaves gaps that Dave can get into and use. He isn't aiming for a beatdown. To him, this is a training spar, meant to keep them in shape and get them more accustomed to their limitations, meant to help them learn. The point isn't to torture Dave for hours on end.
And even if it were the goal, he couldn't. Dave is simply better than Dirk. It isn't a huge gap, but Dirk could tell from their first fight that Dave was going to win every time.]
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he aims to disarm as quickly as possible. in other times or places he might test where dirk was at or point out when he's too open or some other things that could be done differently. right now, it's just a fight to get through things as efficiently and painlessly as he can, with the occasional thoughtless dirty trick that won't harm but may frustrate. ]
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Good match.
[There's the slightest lift at the end. Is it a good match? Or is Dave bored of losing to someone who should be better than this.]
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...Yeah. [ that seems safe enough. ] You got what you needed?
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[He wrestles with the feelings in his gut to keep them quiet. They're dumb and stupid and they need to shut up.]
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I got the impression that you aren't inclined to be here.
[There's a brief pause.]
I also got the impression you weren't inclined to be there this morning. It doesn't seem like you're enjoying this. And it would sort of... be shitty, to drag you out twice a day to do training you aren't interested in.
[He rubs at the back of his neck.]
Sorry if this is stupidly awkward and reading into things. I majorly fucked up trying to help my friends with things, when they didn't want my help and I did more harm than good anyway. I don't want to do that with you, and I sure as fuck don't want to force you to help me catch up with you if you—if you aren't interested. [If you feel like you're wasting your time on me. He doesn't want to say it. It seems unfair to say.]
This is probably part of the working-things-out thing.
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[ blankly. he sheathes his sword, belated. he has no idea what to say, but it's pretty clear dirk isn't enjoying things, either, if he's this stressed about things and doesn't think it helped at all.
dave shrugs, finally. ]
Look, don't worry about it. I'll tap John for the trainin' or somethin', whenever he's feelin' better and if he doesn't mind. And I can work on the art stuff alone.
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He doesn't fight it. He doesn't say, Training was how I wanted to connect to you. He doesn't say, I dreamed of this my whole life. He doesn't know how to explain how he wanted this to be enjoyable. How he wanted to find a way to reach Dave through this. He reminds himself that they are strangers, and Dave has no reason to want a shitty knockoff version of his Bro.
Instead, he tries to tell Dave some things that are true.]
It helped, I'm just used to going until I'm exhausted. It's how I used to train myself. [So he was confused at how it stopped soon.]
Me and John were talking, and it occurred to me you might not know that I like the way you draw. Anyone can learn to draw photorealistically, if they practice and work on it. It's practical for your magic but that's it. The way you draw on your own is uniquely yours and it feels right.
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dave's steadier than he was the other day, though, and he doesn't think he wants to agree to that sort of thing. before he can make a response, dirk changes topics, and he just kind of stares. he's not sure what the hell could have come up to make that a topic between john and dirk - probably john was laughing at dave's skills, which is normal and acceptable - but. ]
...Thanks? [ he tries that out as a guess on the grounds not much can go wrong by just saying thanks. ] I think maybe our learnin' styles are just a little different. [ dirk keeps trying to put him in charge, it's weird, ] There's probably people around who're into trainin' till you drop, though?
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It's a stupid way to train.
[He says it bluntly, because he knows it's true. He always has. It's cruel and pointless and it doesn't help, it just exhausts you, it just lets Dirk punish himself for not being good enough because it shuts his self-loathing up for half a second.]
I asked you to train me because I thought you might know how to train better.
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I jusf...do whatever. [ it's a vague non answer, and he doesn't really expand on the statement, veering aside instead. ] You didn't really seem to like this either.
[ though dave hadn't really expected dirk to do so. he does find the obvious signs of discontent a little strange in a twilight zone sort of way. ]
So probably not the best way to spend time together.
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[But Dave is right. He isn't enjoying it. He feels on edge, uncertain and scared.]
Maybe not. [He bites back an apology.] Honestly, I don't know how to spend time with people. Music, movies, discussing bullshit, and sparring is about the end of the list of experiences I've had hanging out with other people, and I'm genuinely unsure which of TV's alternative suggestions actually check out. If there are things you want to do, I'd be interested.
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A'ight. I'll ask Egbert later if he's game for sparrin' instead. [ he knows at least one or two other people use swords, too. john will probably not turn him down if he asks the right way, but john will also want to know why. ]
I don't know that there's like a set formula on how to hang out with people. [ said instead of giving an opinion on any of the activities. ]
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[For letting Dave down. For not being good to spar with.]
That would be more convenient than life has ever been.
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Sorry. [ he can't think of anything to say back besides that. ] I'm...sure other people can help with your power thing, though? Everyone seems pretty chill about helpin' out.
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[ another shrug, because he's a broken record. it feels like a different sort of beatdown. ]
Hope you find someone who, like, is helpful. I'll see you around, I guess.
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You weren't? Bro, you—[Fuck. He goes blank-faced momentarily. When he corrects himself, he is a little quieter, as if embarrassed by the slip-up.] You were incredibly helpful. You set me off on this entire path of trying to learn how to use this ability in a productive way, and seeing you fight only twice has made me reconsider my technique. Like I said, I'm grateful for the help you gave me. I'm just sorry I'm not... [He pauses, biting off self-recriminations, and just gestures helplessly.] ...as helpful to you as you are to me.
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he does neither, for the moment. ]
I didn't... [ he doesn't know what he didn't. it's easier to run than it is to fight, and dave's less likely to stand his ground when it's just his ground. ] ...like I said, I'm sure you'll do fine. Or better with other people. Whichever.
[ the answer to "did you get what you needed" won't be a question, hopefully, with other people. ]
I should head back and check in on John again. [ a convenient excuse, even if he does plan to do so. ]
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Okay, cool. Let him know I hope he's doing better.
[He doesn't make to move himself. He'll let Dave leave and just... go somewhere. That's easier. Dave's instinct is to run, and Dirk's is to sink. There's no water here, but there's a forest he could get himself lost in a moment.]
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