that would imply I'm dying and I'm not sure about that yet? last words...I'm not sure what those would even be I had a long conversation with somebody about that. us versus them, whoever those versions of us are. arguments that they aren't possibly us. don't think I ever got your stance on that though so?
isnt it your stance on the matter that takes precedence dude but since you ask
my name is dave strider i grew up in houston texas with my bro and i was born there with my parents and my siblings and i grew up here my best friends are john egbert rose lalonde and jade harley my best friends are yuratchka and nastya and dirk strider i like stupid comics and music and i dont like to take off my shades
im him hes me were me chronologically speaking that kid in houston with just his brother i think he came first i came first and i dont think its so weird really that there was a universe on the other side of what the fuck ever happened because i think im used to the concept of alternate universes
there are things about this life i dont want to let go of though and i think maybe that does count for something
maybe, but I'll get there when I get there because see. I wonder how many other people have lied about everything they remember because they aren't sure they want to accept it and here you are making this sound so simple. should've known your brother made the flight thing seem so simple, too, like it wasn't stupid as fuck that I had flying converse or that I was falling through portals with no return
it's the parallels that make me think that we really are the same as those people we're remembering even if it doesn't make sense hard to get the idea out once it's there
is this another timeloop? did the old us get absorbed by the new one and we're just now catching up? how does that even work and what do you mean you're used to the concept of alternate universes? that implies you've lived through more than just these two, too, and while somehow I'd believe it...
you shouldn't have to. let go of things in this life. there's a lot I don't want to let go of either like the fact that my sister is my sister in this universe. she's not in that other one ...let me ask you something else. fate and destiny and all that shit. stance on it, ready, go
i figured you were lying for the same reasons i was
[ yeah. remember when he didn't call luke on his bullshit, months ago, and luke was like AH, YES, I HAVE FOOLED YET ANOTHER PERSON? yeah that wasn't a thing, still. ]
because you remembered too much and you didnt know what to do with it because you believed in it but you didnt want to and then maybe another problem was you didnt want anyone else to remember either the things you didnt want to look at and if you talked about it and made them real they just might they just might look at you and understand and know everything and you didnt want that
i dont want that i m ean
i dont know if its a timeloop i think that this universe isnt the one im supposed to be in but i havent figured out why im here or if it isnt even better were here because at least here they dont all remember their deaths but not everyone is here so thats not better at all but there are so many people remembering so many different things i think that this is a nexus of sorts and something is going to happen or is happening and we kinda have to figure it out the plot doesnt make sense but we dont have more than a few scattered chapters so
fate and destiny though you asked the wrong guy because i am a time player and everything that happens always was already going to happen i dont think that means people are without free will but "fate" and "destiny" its a thin line we walk to the end of the path and there are a million and one paths we didnt walk or some bullshit like that
so that's why you haven't told anyone much of anything you remember more than you ever wanted to remember and it's probably stuff that would hurt everybody around you if you ever said a damn thing yeah. maybe I get that I already had people judging my life choices here. apparently that was a thing back then, too
not gonna ask you what you remember. not my place. but at the same time it starts to eat at you a little, doesn't it? not knowing if you can rely on anybody to know everything because of the damage it'd cause. I lied to Thalia a lot. she knew that. she punched me in the face for it but I'd do it all again to keep her safe.
did you know that hermes is the god of thieves and the god of liars? and did you know he was just as shitty of a father as my actual dad? trying to figure out how I got so damn lucky.
it's why we ran away. something went wrong, so I ran away when I was 9 in that life. I met Thalia a few years later, and then we met Annabeth it's written in the diary I got back. that thing keeps filling in with new memories every time I get them. freaky as fuck
this isn't where I'm supposed to be either. but at least here I'm in control and not doing things I would come to regret, maybe we're in an in between, you think? like the train station between lives. maybe that's why this place changes the way it does science can't explain it. I've asked maybe the plot will never make sense but that's why we're going to keep trying it's also why I'm giving you my notes. there's a few people who might be interested in them in the future, too, but i'll leave that up to you
heh. right. my bad. I worked on borrowed time back then, so I wouldn't know there was a prophecy once...and based on context clues I think I understand it things that happened there were always destined to happen no matter how hard I tried the Luke in that universe fought it, I think. still fucked up and burned shit in his path if I had to guess, but he fought it. I think. it's all guesswork though. context clues. one foot in and one foot out until you fall one way or another I'm not good at philosophy, but I'm good at theorizing sometimes
and thanks. I've been perfecting my cagey asshole routine for years so I'm glad my score's that high is it really all that ominous?
ok you said that with way too much authority who told you i wasnt telling people shit i mean its true but also hey if it helps im pretty sure im like batting 100 in terms of people whod remember shit judging my life choices here re not telling them shit eventually theyll get it though but i dont want them to
id rather have gotten punched in the face than how certain people dealt with me lying to them tbh
that sucks im sorry i cant come up with a better thing to say than that sucks but it does i remember a lot of things mostly dying other shit its not so big a deal
i dont know about train stations i know about where the dead go went in the place i remember but it wasnt so much like this i mean in some ways it was a world made up of memories but this doesnt feel the same way that place felt so i dont think its quite the same thing probably who knows
but logistically speaking the real question i have is how real are the people who cant remember ?
dude you keep saying when im gone and shit and talking about your like deepest darkest secrets im assuming here hell fucking yes its ominous you are literally hitting like every horror movie cliche here im half expecting you to get cut off midsentence as you get shanked (ps dont do that?) i feel like i should crank some bgm for your heebie jeebies
kid, I'm an older brother. and an expert at keeping my shit on lockdown ...meaning I was calling a bluff and just happened to guess right so I can't really fault you for not telling people shit that's what I always hoped with the girls. that they'd remember eventually, but at the same time I always wondered what would happen if they did I can't say I want them to remember the extent either
she punched me in the face and was still mad, but I've been lying to her about stuff since we met. the crazy shit we do for love, huh?
I'm not asking for sympathy or anything so like. don't worry about that I don't think I was planning this but confirmation's a bitch. worms its way into your head, implants in your brain, all that shit
I'd say remembering dying's a big deal though. no matter how many times you do it
a world made of memories so. kind of like this place? a huge dreamcatcher or some poetic shit I sometimes wonder the merit of comparing things to this place you ever notice how the world changes here? little things start to pop up that don't belong where do they come from?
maybe they aren't real. maybe they're set-dressing for a bigger picture. or we're all brainwashed wouldn't be the first time that happened to me
...funny you should say that though because the only person who shanked me was myself. so uh. my name is Luke Castellan. I grew up here. I grew up somewhere else. I live with my parents and my baby sister Annabeth. I lived with my mom before I ran away and a god I never met until I was 14. I was destined to sacrifice myself after fucking up the world. I don't think destiny exists here. I attacked Annabeth and tried to kill her. I'd kill for her here. And then. Back then. I'd do anything for her. I've realized the me back there was the villain of his own story, and when I ended it that was it. no coming back from that, so...who says there's any coming back from this? so you can see why I'm passing my shit on to you. you're the time player, Dave. you're the only one who would make the most of this
im going out of order here to say what the fuck dude im not a leader or a hero or anything like that i wont say that the idea of different universes and timelines isnt something i dont understand but like no i cant really see why youre passing your shit onto me and ok it would be selfish to say i want you to not have to and to stay because i recognize your tone and you want to forget dont you
you may be an expert but i called your bluff before all this didnt i so ha i should get points for that or a prize
and i think they come from home the places we used to call home wherever those might be
[ there's a pause as he types something, deletes it, types it and deletes it again and again. some things dave strider just won't say.
but he does say: ]
i remember killing dirk
i dont know if theres a coming back from this someone forgot and then remembered at least once didnt they but
ill take the shit and see it gets to everyone who can use it you have my word for what its worth mr melodrama hey i just came up with a drink name for you
did I ever say you were? where did I say you're a leader or a hero? you're more experienced in this kind of shit than most but calling you a hero? shitty word. I was supposedly the hero of this fucking prophecy and I tried to destroy Olympus. all based on what I know, I'm just gonna guess
I'm passing things onto you because I trust you. and it's not selfish, of course not. I'm selfish wanting the girls to remember. I'm selfish not wanting to maybe disappear either but no. I don't want to forget. it's just a reality I have to face. I shared a lot of memories with those two. it wouldn't surprise me if whoever is running this show removes me too it's not about forgetting. it's about not wanting to royally fuck up in this life too. and getting a choice because I sure as fuck didn't get one back then. we don't get many choices here either, do we?
what, you never heard of the saying bullshitters can sense other bullshitters?
I'll give you all the aj I have left in the bar if you want
you're probably close on that, but why some things and not others? all those fun questions
[....oh.]
I've known about Annabeth and what I did to her for some time. to take your words from before? that sucks
And I think so. maybe more cases like that will pop up someday.
this is why I'm trusting you with it. also I'm allowed to be melodramatic about a fiery explosion of a death, fuck off if it's called "six feet under" I'm already ahead of you for the record
no but you sure did just throw a bunch of responsibility at me dude its mildly terrifying how much faith you are displaying you literally said "you're the only one who would make the most of this" like youre my mentor or something and about to get stabbed in the back and tossed off the airship which we are on dramatically in this scenario or something
do you want me to like say anything to you if you forget
also no ive never heard of that
ill take the aj and yeah youre allowed to be melodramatic but dont count your chickens dude i remember dying in a fiery explosion of death too the shitty club offer still stands
if you have a better suggestion who else to give this shit to, be my guest. I'm not a mentor. not anymore I think maybe I used to be though
...I don't know yet. I wish I knew if there was a phrase to jog people's memories when they forget. I'd say tell me about this conversation but you can guess how that'd go. let me think about it
well now you have
cool, it'll be waiting for you and thanks for humoring me and whatever I'll make the t-shirts before the world ends ...shit though really? ...you can't catch a break, can you?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
I had a long conversation with somebody about that. us versus them, whoever those versions of us are. arguments that they aren't possibly us.
don't think I ever got your stance on that though
so?
no subject
but since you ask
my name is dave strider
i grew up in houston texas with my bro
and i was born there with my parents and my siblings and i grew up here
my best friends are john egbert rose lalonde and jade harley
my best friends are yuratchka and nastya and dirk strider
i like stupid comics and music and i dont like to take off my shades
im him
hes me
were me
chronologically speaking that kid in houston with just his brother
i think he came first
i came first
and i dont think its so weird really
that there was a universe on the other side of what the fuck ever happened
because i think
im used to the concept of alternate universes
there are things about this life i dont want to let go of though
and i think
maybe that does count for something
no subject
because see. I wonder how many other people have lied about everything they remember because they aren't sure they want to accept it
and here you are making this sound so simple. should've known
your brother made the flight thing seem so simple, too, like it wasn't stupid as fuck that I had flying converse or that I was falling through portals with no return
it's the parallels that make me think that we really are the same as those people we're remembering even if it doesn't make sense
hard to get the idea out once it's there
is this another timeloop? did the old us get absorbed by the new one and we're just now catching up? how does that even work
and what do you mean you're used to the concept of alternate universes? that implies you've lived through more than just these two, too, and while somehow I'd believe it...
you shouldn't have to. let go of things in this life. there's a lot I don't want to let go of either
like the fact that my sister is my sister in this universe. she's not in that other one
...let me ask you something else. fate and destiny and all that shit. stance on it, ready, go
no subject
[ yeah. remember when he didn't call luke on his bullshit, months ago, and luke was like AH, YES, I HAVE FOOLED YET ANOTHER PERSON? yeah that wasn't a thing, still. ]
because you remembered too much and you didnt know what to do with it
because you believed in it but you didnt want to
and then maybe another problem was you didnt want anyone else to remember either
the things you didnt want to look at
and if you talked about it and made them real
they just might
they just might look at you and understand and know everything
and you didnt want that
i dont want that i m ean
i dont know if its a timeloop
i think that this universe isnt the one im supposed to be in
but i havent figured out why im here
or if it isnt even better were here
because at least here they dont all remember their deaths
but not everyone is here so thats not better at all
but
there are so many people remembering so many different things
i think that this is a nexus of sorts
and something is going to happen
or is happening
and we kinda have to figure it out
the plot doesnt make sense but we dont have more than a few scattered chapters so
fate and destiny though
you asked the wrong guy
because i am a time player
and everything that happens always was already going to happen
i dont think that means people are without free will but
"fate" and "destiny"
its a thin line we walk to the end of the path
and there are a million and one paths we didnt walk
or some bullshit like that
ftr i give you a 8/10 on ominous texts
no subject
you remember more than you ever wanted to remember and it's probably stuff that would hurt everybody around you if you ever said a damn thing
yeah. maybe I get that
I already had people judging my life choices here. apparently that was a thing back then, too
not gonna ask you what you remember. not my place. but at the same time it starts to eat at you a little, doesn't it? not knowing if you can rely on anybody to know everything because of the damage it'd cause.
I lied to Thalia a lot. she knew that. she punched me in the face for it
but I'd do it all again to keep her safe.
did you know that hermes is the god of thieves and the god of liars?
and did you know he was just as shitty of a father as my actual dad? trying to figure out how I got so damn lucky.
it's why we ran away. something went wrong, so I ran away when I was 9 in that life. I met Thalia a few years later, and then we met Annabeth
it's written in the diary I got back. that thing keeps filling in with new memories every time I get them. freaky as fuck
this isn't where I'm supposed to be either. but at least here I'm in control and not doing things I would come to regret, maybe
we're in an in between, you think? like the train station between lives. maybe that's why this place changes the way it does
science can't explain it. I've asked
maybe the plot will never make sense but that's why we're going to keep trying
it's also why I'm giving you my notes. there's a few people who might be interested in them in the future, too, but i'll leave that up to you
heh. right. my bad. I worked on borrowed time back then, so I wouldn't know
there was a prophecy once...and based on context clues I think I understand it
things that happened there were always destined to happen no matter how hard I tried
the Luke in that universe fought it, I think. still fucked up and burned shit in his path if I had to guess, but he fought it. I think.
it's all guesswork though. context clues. one foot in and one foot out until you fall one way or another
I'm not good at philosophy, but I'm good at theorizing sometimes
and thanks. I've been perfecting my cagey asshole routine for years so I'm glad my score's that high
is it really all that ominous?
no subject
who told you i wasnt telling people shit
i mean its true but also hey
if it helps im pretty sure im like batting 100 in terms of people whod remember shit judging my life choices here
re not telling them shit
eventually theyll get it though
but i dont want them to
id rather have gotten punched in the face than how certain people dealt with me lying to them tbh
that sucks
im sorry i cant come up with a better thing to say than that sucks
but it does
i remember
a lot of things
mostly dying
other shit
its not so big a deal
i dont know about train stations
i know about where the dead go
went
in the place i remember
but it wasnt so much like this
i mean in some ways it was
a world made up of memories
but this doesnt feel the same way that place felt
so i dont think its quite the same thing
probably
who knows
but logistically speaking the real question i have is
how real are the people who cant remember
?
dude you keep saying when im gone and shit and talking about your like
deepest darkest secrets im assuming here
hell fucking yes its ominous
you are literally hitting like every horror movie cliche here
im half expecting you to get cut off midsentence as you get shanked
(ps dont do that?)
i feel like i should crank some bgm for your heebie jeebies
no subject
...meaning I was calling a bluff and just happened to guess right
so I can't really fault you for not telling people shit
that's what I always hoped with the girls. that they'd remember eventually, but at the same time I always wondered what would happen if they did
I can't say I want them to remember the extent either
she punched me in the face and was still mad, but I've been lying to her about stuff since we met.
the crazy shit we do for love, huh?
I'm not asking for sympathy or anything so like. don't worry about that
I don't think I was planning this but confirmation's a bitch. worms its way into your head, implants in your brain, all that shit
I'd say remembering dying's a big deal though. no matter how many times you do it
a world made of memories so. kind of like this place? a huge dreamcatcher or some poetic shit
I sometimes wonder the merit of comparing things to this place
you ever notice how the world changes here? little things start to pop up that don't belong
where do they come from?
maybe they aren't real. maybe they're set-dressing for a bigger picture. or we're all brainwashed
wouldn't be the first time that happened to me
...funny you should say that though because the only person who shanked me was myself.
so uh. my name is Luke Castellan. I grew up here. I grew up somewhere else.
I live with my parents and my baby sister Annabeth. I lived with my mom before I ran away and a god I never met until I was 14.
I was destined to sacrifice myself after fucking up the world.
I don't think destiny exists here.
I attacked Annabeth and tried to kill her.
I'd kill for her here. And then. Back then. I'd do anything for her.
I've realized the me back there was the villain of his own story, and when I ended it that was it. no coming back from that, so...who says there's any coming back from this?
so you can see why I'm passing my shit on to you.
you're the time player, Dave. you're the only one who would make the most of this
no subject
what the fuck
dude im not a leader or a hero or anything like that
i wont say that the idea of different universes and timelines isnt something i dont understand but like
no i cant really see why youre passing your shit onto me
and
ok it would be selfish to say i want you to not have to and to stay
because i recognize your tone
and you want to forget dont you
you may be an expert but i called your bluff before all this didnt i so ha
i should get points for that
or a prize
and i think they come from home
the places we used to call home
wherever those might be
[ there's a pause as he types something, deletes it, types it and deletes it again and again. some things dave strider just won't say.
but he does say: ]
i remember killing dirk
i dont know if theres a coming back from this
someone forgot and then remembered at least once didnt they
but
ill take the shit and see it gets to everyone who can use it
you have my word for what its worth
mr melodrama
hey i just came up with a drink name for you
no subject
where did I say you're a leader or a hero? you're more experienced in this kind of shit than most but calling you a hero? shitty word. I was supposedly the hero of this fucking prophecy and I tried to destroy Olympus. all based on what I know, I'm just gonna guess
I'm passing things onto you because I trust you. and it's not selfish, of course not. I'm selfish wanting the girls to remember. I'm selfish not wanting to maybe disappear either
but no. I don't want to forget. it's just a reality I have to face. I shared a lot of memories with those two. it wouldn't surprise me if whoever is running this show removes me too
it's not about forgetting. it's about not wanting to royally fuck up in this life too. and getting a choice because I sure as fuck didn't get one back then. we don't get many choices here either, do we?
what, you never heard of the saying bullshitters can sense other bullshitters?
I'll give you all the aj I have left in the bar if you want
you're probably close on that, but why some things and not others? all those fun questions
[....oh.]
I've known about Annabeth and what I did to her for some time. to take your words from before? that sucks
And I think so. maybe more cases like that will pop up someday.
this is why I'm trusting you with it.
also I'm allowed to be melodramatic about a fiery explosion of a death, fuck off
if it's called "six feet under" I'm already ahead of you for the record
no subject
its mildly terrifying how much faith you are displaying
you literally said "you're the only one who would make the most of this"
like youre my mentor or something and about to get stabbed in the back and tossed off the airship
which we are on dramatically in this scenario
or something
do you want me to like
say anything to you
if you forget
also no ive never heard of that
ill take the aj and yeah youre allowed to be melodramatic
but dont count your chickens dude i remember dying in a fiery explosion of death too
the shitty club offer still stands
no subject
I think maybe I used to be though
...I don't know yet. I wish I knew if there was a phrase to jog people's memories when they forget. I'd say tell me about this conversation but you can guess how that'd go. let me think about it
well now you have
cool, it'll be waiting for you and thanks for humoring me and whatever
I'll make the t-shirts before the world ends
...shit though really?
...you can't catch a break, can you?
no subject
is there anything youd want to tell you
the you who remembers nothing
so hed idk
at least live the life you want him to live
and maybe not
i dunno
i think my job was kinda to die a lot man