personal overflow post;

[parodeity]

Comments

[windeity]

you don't actually know anything about me, but ok, sure.
and i am not sure what you think you know, but it is probably not that accurate.
that was a lucky guess and fine, whatever, i do not care.
maybe announcing my goddamn type will get me a date, i don't know.
but i met you not even 24 hours ago.
and intuition is bullshit.

[The problem: Dave hitting on a sensitive subject. Oh well.]

[parodeity]

[ he immediately wants to argue not knowing anything about john but that would be stupid.

also, it's not even true. the john egbert he knows doesn't really exist right now. neither does rose, or jade, or terezi, or karkat. none of his friends who even halfway remember are his friends.

and he remembers them. but they're not the same. he needs to stop treating them like they're the people he loves even accidentally.

but it's so fucking hard.

still, he can at least recognize john actually getting annoyed with him. it's happened before and he remembers a few times - they don't even matter. ]

chill dude
i was teasing you and ill drop it since it actually bugs you
romantic shit is officially off the list of topics ill harass you about
that leaves me an entire wide world of options anyway

[windeity]

sure. have at it.

[And that is really all he has to say. Proceed? Or abscond?]

[parodeity]

[ ouch. ]

well im not gonna harass you now when youre upset
im not that big an asshole
do i have to tell you some terrible detail about my romantic failures to get you to ease up here
because ive got a trainwreck of a past i guess
up to and including my girlfriend sneaking around on me with a dude who refused to take off clown paint
and another guy trying to get me to schedule time so she could date him
while dating me
honestly most of these failures involve other peoples polyamorous ways come to think of it

[windeity]

i'm not upset.
i just think this whole conversation is stupid.
but wow that sucks and also why would someone refuse to take off clown paint...
...that is actually a little creepy.
have you considered not dating people that are polyamorous when you are maybe not?
how did this even happen to you more than once?

[parodeity]

same girl both times
and she agreed to be monogamous when we were a thing she just didnt stick to it
so if we agree to not talk about that and i promise not to talk about your type ever again
will you be genuinely not upset

[windeity]

even weirder? that is like three different kind of relationships and that is two relationships too many.
if she didn't stick to it, she didn't agree to it. it is not that hard.
i already told you i'm not upset, but let's never talk about bossy girls ever again?

[parodeity]

no can do
i talk about my sister all the time

[windeity]

okay.
no talking about bossy girls we would date.
is that better?

[parodeity]

see now i regret agreeing to not tease you because that gives me an opening to say something else entirely and i cant take it

[windeity]

say it, weirdo.
you cannot leave a sick burn unsaid.

[parodeity]

its less a burn and more giving you a hard time
did you want to talk about the bossy boys we would date instead?

you should praise me since i did not just immediately say the thing that came to mind
do you realize how rare that is for me

[windeity]

seeing how i don't date guys, that would be the shortest conversation ever.
i am beginning to realize this is a rarity, yes, since i am not sure you've shut up for more than five seconds since we met.

[parodeity]

im aware youre not into bossy boys dont worry
i could shut up if you wanted probably

[windeity]

thanks for that.
but yeah, shut up and get back here? we still have a deal.

[parodeity]

its fine to not be homosexual
or bisexual
or any other variety of sexual
tbh for all im talking about it rn it isnt like i have any interest in dating either
oh wait no
im going to marry an apple

also i can talk and move at the same time

[windeity]

i have so many questions and right now the only one i really need an answer to is "why are you going to marry an apple...?"

[parodeity]

because apples are the best fruit

[windeity]

but doesn't that mean that eventually your significant other will rot and/or you'll eat them?

[parodeity]

yeah i basically have to be bluebeard here
every time one apple so dies
i replace them with a new one
which i guess means eventually one of those apples will eat me?

[windeity]

considering the fact that apples now dance around here, i would not put it past this place to make man-eating apples, too.
so you may want to reconsider? i am just saying.

[parodeity]

those apples are different
the way they are doesnt mean maneating apples are gonna be a thing

[windeity]

ok but do you have proof that they WON'T be a thing?
how do we know that is not a possibility, dave?

[parodeity]

well they wont be a thing from the world where the fruits are from

[windeity]

how do you know? do you recognize them? or did someone else tell you that?