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[parodeity]

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[splinten]

Ok, so if you're sleeping ignore this.
If not I'm going to come home the second you give me the okay.

[parodeity]

no youre banned from the tower until tomorrow fuck off
im beginning to think you dont understand the concept of valentines day

[splinten]

The concept is love. I get it just fine.
I could come home even for just an hour.

[parodeity]

theres no reason for you to come home
do i need to print out like wanted dead or alive posters
except theyre like
dont let this dude inside posters
...
im not sure where i was going with this actually that idea sounds stupid
but i will commit myself to it if i gotta
anyway go back to your date idiot i am perfectly capable of entertaining myself
did it for years
somehow did not manage to fuck it up entirely

[splinten]

Not actually the thing that compels me home.
I have been known to occasionally check the network.

[parodeity]

stop checking the network while youre on a date casanova
anyway youre still banned
and im not sure why anything on the network would require you to come home

[splinten]

John is here and he doesn't remember.
You're already miserable.
I love you.
Do you need any other reasons?

[parodeity]

dont be so dramatic im fine
and johns a whimsical idiot who frequently forgets the plot
shit isnt that surprising
anyway im probably not going to be here long anyway so theres no point in you coming back
short of john somehow magically getting a date immediately
im probably going to be talking with him
so you see i dont have time to chill w you right now
especially when you are supposed to be preoccupied anyway
picture me rolling my eyes at you to get the full impact of this text message

[splinten]

[Ugh.]

Alright.
Boundary's still on, so alright.
Just know I've got my communicator on. I can drop everything in a second.

[parodeity]

i dont need you rn
im seriously fine chill out and relax
the absolute worst that could happen to me today would be like
john deciding a talk would be better had to the background noise of con air
which while a strong possibility
is not actually enough for me to need you to come hold my hand
i can weather nic cages stupid face
done it before will doubtless need to do it again
important life skill here
focus on having a nice time
love you

[splinten]

[i dont need you rn

That shouldn't have stung like it did.]

Ok, love you too.

[parodeity]

[ it probably does not help that it is 100% a lie. but he basically has permission to lie for the day. ...that's probably not how dirk meant his offer but that sure is how dave decided to take it. ]

try not to fuck up your clothes irreparably btw
see you no earlier than tomorrow