You have absolutely just signed my death warrant by takin' one single solitary slice of an apple away from me. We're gonna have to have a honorable battle to the death, or to the apple slice, whichever comes first. This is clearly a top-tier concern and the Dersite rags would be all over this shit? Rose would tip 'em off. No one will ever recover from the loss, even if there's a win. It'll be a bitter feud lastin' millenia.

[ he hands dirk another slice of apple before eating one more for himself. ]

...Okay. [ this proposition, when jabbed at in his mind, doesn't hurt like some of the others. there's no obligation and no real chance that anyone has to be hurt if it's just talking about things. more importantly, this time dirk didn't specify dave talking to people outside of rose/jade/karkat about feelings.

he is kind of predictable in some pretty terrible ways. ]

Any other thoughts you had while I was out I should know about?