[He always reads Dave pretty quickly. There are still things that slip but usually he notices.]
I'd just like... a choice? I don't know that I would've disagreed with your decision on that, because I agreed. I don't want us to do things that make us resent each other. If the cost of that is those trips, then I'd rather not risk your resentment. It's painful, but it's also probably the right decision at this point in time, until we can work out how to negotiate the issues of trust that we have here.
It isn't... unfair to want to be part of that decision, though. I think. [He isn't entirely sure.] I don't think it's unfair to ask to be ... [He looks down. He can't accuse Dave of anything, Dave isn't at fault and Dirk understands what he was intending
I'm aware that I don't always have the best responses, so it might be right to just do what you think is best. In a lot of ways your reasoning about all of it makes sense. But... I said I'd say how I feel about things. If we're talking about how things make me feel, then being cut from decisions about us is that feeling. Stupid and weak and unloveable and unworthy.
I know it isn't rational. [It feels stupid to say it and also necessary. It's cutting off the accusation by reassuring Dave that Dirk is already accusing himself.]
no subject
[He always reads Dave pretty quickly. There are still things that slip but usually he notices.]
I'd just like... a choice? I don't know that I would've disagreed with your decision on that, because I agreed. I don't want us to do things that make us resent each other. If the cost of that is those trips, then I'd rather not risk your resentment. It's painful, but it's also probably the right decision at this point in time, until we can work out how to negotiate the issues of trust that we have here.
It isn't... unfair to want to be part of that decision, though. I think. [He isn't entirely sure.] I don't think it's unfair to ask to be ... [He looks down. He can't accuse Dave of anything, Dave isn't at fault and Dirk understands what he was intending
I'm aware that I don't always have the best responses, so it might be right to just do what you think is best. In a lot of ways your reasoning about all of it makes sense. But... I said I'd say how I feel about things. If we're talking about how things make me feel, then being cut from decisions about us is that feeling. Stupid and weak and unloveable and unworthy.
I know it isn't rational. [It feels stupid to say it and also necessary. It's cutting off the accusation by reassuring Dave that Dirk is already accusing himself.]