It doesn't do either as much as sharin' shit would do. It hurts me more to have you and other people know I want shit or feel shit that I can't have or shouldn't want. I know you don't get that or think it's true but it is. I liked it better when you didn't know what I wanted with the tower. I miss when we could just...talk about stupid shit and not all of this. There's a guy limiting what he says to you because I couldn't keep my trap shut well enough or play it off smooth enough. That's worse to me than it would be if I were just rollin' along. I can't fix it so I won't hurt it worse at the very least.

[ because he's pretty damn sure he would somehow just based on his track record for the month. ]

What's hurting me recently isn't keeping shit from you or anyone else so much as it is the fallout of everyone bein' distressed about whatever I do share. Even if I'd done it - right. If I'd told you that I didn't trust you instead of not until we were arguing. Or not wanting...a lot of things. I don't feel...limited by not causing more problems. What I want more than any of the selfish shit is just to keep the peace.