parodeity: lazili @ tumblr (DERSE 🎧 prince)
revenge of ricky schrödinger ヽ(⌐■_■)ノ ([personal profile] parodeity) wrote 2017-01-07 05:14 am (UTC)

[ silence, as he just lays there under dirk's makeshift umbrella thing with his arms crossed and his eyes shut and debates saying "no" again. dave considers the reasons to be taboo because they're too real and hurt to touch and they aren't fair by his standards. he doesn't want to speak them.

he makes himself say them anyway, because he'd promised he would make some sort of attempt at trusting dirk, even if for dave right now that means simply forcing the issue with himself. ]


I wanted what John had.

[ he has always wanted what john had. every idle complaint john ever made about his dad and his house and the inane boring bonding shit the egbert patriarch made john do. the boring suburban life with someone in his space who wasn't out to get him but whose biggest concern seemed to be shoving cakes at john on his birthday and trying to connect in ways that mostly failed but which simply kept being tried anyway. ]

Even if it was only for a little while, 'cause it was always only goin' to be for a little while before you - [ lost interest? until dirk wasn't everything he seemed to be but some universal gotcha? was taken away by someone more important than dave, which was easy since pretty much everyone could qualify for that. ] before you weren't mine on borrowed time. [ he says "mine" and makes a face because people don't work like that (except rose. rose is his, they died together and she's always, always accepted him at his worst like he has accepted her at hers. she's his person.) ]

I wanted to share your space and monopolize a lot of your time and fall asleep talkin' about bullshit if I fell asleep at all. And just do...things together. Dumb things. Not nose hair trimmers but like, less Egbertian dumb things. I'm not sure what the Strider dumb things would really have entailed except like, markedly cooler than - I can't even say that with a straight face, Egbert's shit was pretty fuckin' cool. I'm never tellin' him so, though.

[ movie nights or the stupid meals they'd had until dave fled or just - ]

I wanted to cram as much of it in to what time I was goin' to get so I had somethin' that didn't suck to look back on, eventually, when it went to shit. And I guess reasons other than the original ones, that are probably just as unhealthy and selfish as fuck? Like it's easier to sleep if you're around, especially in a combat situation. I wanted to ask you because I at least didn't want to lose - everything. If I had to lose the parts that mattered most.

[ dave shifts, drawing his arms back up. over his eyes, crossed over. ]

It doesn't really matter, dude.

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