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[parodeity]

DAVE STRIDER

consider this your warning about stairs. itll just keep happening bro. im telling you man

VOICE | TEXT | VIDEO | ACTION

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[parodeity]

[ WHO CAN SAY!! anyway dave catches john's hand and bows over it like a dork, bushing his lips over john's knuckles mostly to antagonize john with dumb. ]

Suits you. My lord?

[windeity]

[What! The fuck!!! For once it's John who's flustered suddenly and he just kind of eyeballs Dave even when he kisses his hand.]

Dumbass. [But he's grinning anyway.] I suppose this makes you my personal knight now?

[parodeity]

[ how the turntables have turned fINALLY. dave just grins, still bent over john's hand and looking at john over the top of his shades before he straightens again. ]

Nah. Already was that, so it can't be a "now" thing, y'see?

[windeity]

[This is cruel and unusual punishment? But he's briefly transfixed by Dave's eyes before Dave stands up and he doesn't quite let go of that hand either.]

Oh, so that's how that works. I see. [He'll step closer but the crown's still balanced on his head anyway.] My bad.

[...] Doesn't that mean we should get you a noble steed or something? [He's trying to take this seriously but come on. Knights. Swords. Dave being Dave. This just makes sense.]

[parodeity]

[ no this is a 100% deserved punishment for how often john's managed to fluster dave. eat ur own medicine, john. dave doesn't step back but he doesn't step forward, either. ]

My feet work just fine. Why, you only interested in knights with steeds?

[windeity]

[Rude. He'll step closer again just to see what Dave does.] I cannot really say since you are the first knight I've ever really met officially. But I like you even without a steed, so.

[parodeity]

[ he stays still. ] I think all you really need is a sword and loyalty.

[windeity]

[A very careful kiss.]

Yes, well, you have that in spades. I always knew that. Sword not always required either.

[parodeity]

[ he'll kiss back, briefly and without any force. ]

Mhmm. I'm yours to command. But I think you have a third ticket?

[windeity]

Good to know. [Not that he'll do anything about it. But he takes out the third ticket and he looks at it again before returning.] It's probably Con Air? I got a McConaughey poster a few months ago but it had a hole in the middle so whatever.

[parodeity]

If it's Con Air we're totally not hangin' it up.

[ he has STANDARDS ]

[windeity]

My command, remember? [Into the box the ticket goes and it spits out two things. One is a rolled up poster and the other is...a really terrible selfie of Dave with some writing on it, why this.

The selfie goes into his mouth, lips closed over the bottom to hold onto it while he unrolls it and reveals the travesty that is the Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff movie poster, signed by Dave as well.]

...[There's just a noise of confirmation before he turns it toward Dave?]

[parodeity]

Command me to do somethin' more - holy shit.

[ lowkey delighted, he perks up and why does he...love sbahj...why did he create it

why does this EXIST. ]

[windeity]

[The selfie stays in his mouth and he holds the poster out for Dave to take because goddamnit why the fuck does this exist? Better yet, WHY DID HE OWN THIS?]

I thought it was just a comic, what the fuck? [This is said around the picture.]

[parodeity]

It was a movie post-scratch. Holy shit? [ obviously he wants to hang THIS up ]

[windeity]

[He takes the picture then and he reads it.] That would explain why you wrote "you're rich" on this. This is the most hideous thing I have ever seen. [He says. Very seriously. While he's grinning in vague awe because wow their universe is really stupid.]

[parodeity]

What? Share, what'd I write? Also fuck you, you love it.

[ why is john a fan of sbahj tho

like

why ]

[windeity]

[He flips the picture around so Dave can see it and his message on it.]

I am greatly questioning past-me's taste all the time.

[parodeity]

Like present-you doesn't like this shit? [ or maybe he doesn't. all the same, dave's sporting the tiniest smile. ]

[windeity]

Nope. Present-me finds it horrible. Detestable. Other words like that. [Except not really and he's flipping the picture into his sylladex and holding onto the poster.] So this is getting framed and put up on the wall with Ghostbusters?

[parodeity]

That's too bad. I like to think you're actually a fan. [ also, a shrug. ] Unless you seriously object?

[windeity]

Can't really say I'm a fan or anything. It's not like I have the site bookmarked on my phone or anything. [But he grins.] It is kind of cool. And we have the space, so why not?

[parodeity]

We're gonna run out of wall at this rate, though.

[windeity]

Then it goes on the ceiling. It's not like we do not have a way to get up there.

[parodeity]

And what happens when we run out of ceiling?