[ it's not it. he's just kind of floored and just...give him a second here. dave takes a step forward sort of hesitant and his left hand goes fairly slow to john's cheek and he's easy to dodge when he moves slow. but yeah. dave leans in to kiss his boyfriend so give him a second it's not a distraction this time.

he pulls back after a few seconds. ]

I kind of want to spend the rest of my life with you.

[ he figures maybe that sums up, but it's dave, so of course he keeps talking. ]

Only it's not kind of, and I always did, I just didn't always want - this. I wanted you to be my best friend and you knew that and I just wanted you to never leave in like. The little kid way where you see someone on the playground and you just know that's who you want to spend every recess with beacuse they're the most fun and I don't know where this analogy is going, okay, fuck. The point is I fell in love with you, or noticed I was, or whatever the fuck you want to call it, and I just. Want to spend the rest of my life with you. Regardless of whatever the fuck is goin' on in this goddamn city I just...want to spend it with you. And like, if the world is ending, that's fine, as long as you're with me.

[ his left hand didn't leave the side of john's face and his thumb sort of traces over a cheek and just. that's stupid. ]

And it's terrifying because that's the one thing I care about and I don't know what the fuck I'd do if I lost you. So sometimes I worry about - losing you, or you not wanting to stay or you wanting something else or -

[ it's stupid. he knows it's stupid. ]

Hey. I need to tell you something. Can we like - [ dave gestures down at the back yard, goes to the railing and just hops over the edge. he doesn't want to be on the balcony for some reason, though he snags his phone as he goes, slowing his fall only when he's almost at the ground. ]