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recollé ic inbox 5.0;
DAVE STRIDER
consider this your warning about stairs. itll just keep happening bro. im telling you man
VOICE | TEXT | VIDEO | ACTION
[Part of it gets jumbled just by nature of the way that Dave talks, but it's enough that the words "child abuse" sink in and John finds himself clenching his jaw a little. It's not something he wanted to think of as a possibility but now that he's mentioned it, it makes sense.
He hates that it makes sense, and he goes quiet again.]
...when did you remember? [His tone is low and steady, anger underlying. It's not directed at Dave, of course, but he doesn't know what to do.]
He hates that it makes sense, and he goes quiet again.]
...when did you remember? [His tone is low and steady, anger underlying. It's not directed at Dave, of course, but he doesn't know what to do.]
April. [ a mutter. ] Last year. I mean, I suspected by like - earlier. But that's the first time I remembered one of the strifes. Middle of the night. Woke up and went out without a jacket and tried to break into the zoo because I couldn't chill my shit and didn't have anyone to talk to about it.
[ he runs his left hand through his hair again. this time no shades dislodge. ]
I was a little bitch about it for a long time honestly and I didn't like people really touching me so much after that and after shit like that kept coming back or not like suddenly or whatever and I remember flipping out about the scars and how I don't even remember getting all of them just some? And I freaked out on you about the trolls meetup thing because, I don't know, my logic at the time was they might remember - watching, like they used to watch our lives, but this time they'd recognize what was going on and I didn't wanna like. Deal? With Vantas or Ami or whoever knowing that about me. For a long time I figured it was way safer to just not help people remember things just in case they got enough to start in on it with me.
[ it was maybe stupid.
he still doesn't really want to talk about it with the average citizen. ]
You showed up months after and it was like, finally, the best part of everything I remembered and it was. The best day.
[ he runs his left hand through his hair again. this time no shades dislodge. ]
I was a little bitch about it for a long time honestly and I didn't like people really touching me so much after that and after shit like that kept coming back or not like suddenly or whatever and I remember flipping out about the scars and how I don't even remember getting all of them just some? And I freaked out on you about the trolls meetup thing because, I don't know, my logic at the time was they might remember - watching, like they used to watch our lives, but this time they'd recognize what was going on and I didn't wanna like. Deal? With Vantas or Ami or whoever knowing that about me. For a long time I figured it was way safer to just not help people remember things just in case they got enough to start in on it with me.
[ it was maybe stupid.
he still doesn't really want to talk about it with the average citizen. ]
You showed up months after and it was like, finally, the best part of everything I remembered and it was. The best day.
[ IS THIS IT
Minato, to his credit, maintains his neutrality with a solemn nod. ]
He's asking you to sacrifice a lot for the benefit of the city. I can understand why he chose a weekend, but... there's always Sunday, right?
Minato, to his credit, maintains his neutrality with a solemn nod. ]
He's asking you to sacrifice a lot for the benefit of the city. I can understand why he chose a weekend, but... there's always Sunday, right?
[So. A lot of things make sense suddenly and there's understanding dawning on him after a moment. It makes a large amount of sense suddenly why Dave was so adamantly against everything back then and why he kept his shirt on all the time and why he wouldn't explain certain things.
He doesn't say anything for a moment because...it's both logical and illogical. It's irrational in some places but he can understand the justifications behind it.]
So. A protection thing. [He remembers showing up nearly a year ago and even hearing that is strange to him.] ...was it really that good even when I didn't remember literally anything about us?
He doesn't say anything for a moment because...it's both logical and illogical. It's irrational in some places but he can understand the justifications behind it.]
So. A protection thing. [He remembers showing up nearly a year ago and even hearing that is strange to him.] ...was it really that good even when I didn't remember literally anything about us?
Yeah. [ dave shifts closer suddenly, sliding his arms around his boyfriend and more or less resting his head between john's shoulder and neck. ] Home base. Talking to you calms me down, I don't know. I mean, yeah, I get annoyed at you sometimes and frustrated and whatever because I'm not perfect and you ain't either but when I can't get out of my head, talking to you helps.
I just wanted you to know. [ it's muttered, but hey. ] Because I - the stuff. About the rest of my life. You said you had stuff to say about all that. I just want you to know.
[ he kind of pulls back but it's just enough so he can look john in the eyes really. ]
I told you last year I'd tell you when I was ready and I just. Felt ready. So. Sorry for the long wait, babe.
[ he kind of pulls back but it's just enough so he can look john in the eyes really. ]
I told you last year I'd tell you when I was ready and I just. Felt ready. So. Sorry for the long wait, babe.
[Give him a second to dart forward and kiss him. He lets it linger for a few moments before pulling back, still holding Dave all the same.]
First off, I love you. And I'm glad you told me and that you felt like you could. And second of all, even knowing that does not change my mind about wanting to be with you. Just so you understand that.
First off, I love you. And I'm glad you told me and that you felt like you could. And second of all, even knowing that does not change my mind about wanting to be with you. Just so you understand that.
[ dave kisses back. it's easy and simple and sweet and he's used to these moments, now. the only times he ever froze up, really, were...well, the first time john ever kissed him.
he's more used to it now than he was then, eight months or so ago. ]
No, I know. I mean, I think I know. It's - I'm not sure you ever get over it, but I'm doing okay. Like, I. [ he hesitates, then figures he may as well try to explain why he's been weird which he's been trying to do? sort of. ] I haven't really done it a lot, but like...taking off my shirt with you, or whatever. Is okay now? I'm okay with that. I don't know, I wasn't really comfortable with it for a while, and I didn't really think about things like -
[ he pulls back, a hand running through his hair. ]
I only brought up the thing the other month. Because I do think about it now and I, I dunno, want you closer. I guess. Is what that was about. It's kinda transferrin' over to other people too - I mean, not the sex bullshit, just, I dunno, I'm more used to it again. People touching me or whatever, it was just a little much for a long time and I still don't like it as a surprise if it ain't you, but like.
[ this sounds so confused. ]
I don't know, I feel better lately.
he's more used to it now than he was then, eight months or so ago. ]
No, I know. I mean, I think I know. It's - I'm not sure you ever get over it, but I'm doing okay. Like, I. [ he hesitates, then figures he may as well try to explain why he's been weird which he's been trying to do? sort of. ] I haven't really done it a lot, but like...taking off my shirt with you, or whatever. Is okay now? I'm okay with that. I don't know, I wasn't really comfortable with it for a while, and I didn't really think about things like -
[ he pulls back, a hand running through his hair. ]
I only brought up the thing the other month. Because I do think about it now and I, I dunno, want you closer. I guess. Is what that was about. It's kinda transferrin' over to other people too - I mean, not the sex bullshit, just, I dunno, I'm more used to it again. People touching me or whatever, it was just a little much for a long time and I still don't like it as a surprise if it ain't you, but like.
[ this sounds so confused. ]
I don't know, I feel better lately.
[The fact that they've been dating for eight months is mindboggling and yet here we are.]
I don't think you ever get over that kind of thing either, but I'm glad to hear that. That makes me feel a little better. [He's holding on as well as he can while Dave's moving.]
...so you wanted a gauge of stuff before springing it on me since we have spent a long time in our relationship being slow and careful. Right? [...] For what it's worth, I like you without a shirt. And I think about being able to take the next step in our relationship a lot lately. I just didn't want to push it. We've talked about that, kind of, too.
More than anything though I'm just glad you're starting to feel better and more comfortable.
I don't think you ever get over that kind of thing either, but I'm glad to hear that. That makes me feel a little better. [He's holding on as well as he can while Dave's moving.]
...so you wanted a gauge of stuff before springing it on me since we have spent a long time in our relationship being slow and careful. Right? [...] For what it's worth, I like you without a shirt. And I think about being able to take the next step in our relationship a lot lately. I just didn't want to push it. We've talked about that, kind of, too.
More than anything though I'm just glad you're starting to feel better and more comfortable.
Kinda, yeah. I didn't want to do anything without...agreeing? [ it's why he stopped john the other month. ] And I didn't know how far I could push you.
[ he knows how far he can push himself, more or less. ]
Every time we bring it up I just say I want to talk about it before we go anywhere else, that ain't changed. I just, you know. Want both of us to be sure about whatever the fuck we do.
[ he knows how far he can push himself, more or less. ]
Every time we bring it up I just say I want to talk about it before we go anywhere else, that ain't changed. I just, you know. Want both of us to be sure about whatever the fuck we do.
You know I want to ask what you want to do. [ there's a snort of laughter, though. ] But I know the rules.
[ hot potato questions: try not to. he manages to actually keep his eyes on john's although dave does not manage to not flush a little bit. but whatever. it's embarrassing and he isn't the derse kid who actually had some sort of porn collection.
that was like every other sibling, more or less???
but if he can't fucking say what he wants, he shouldn't be doing it. so. ]
This conversation's all over the place, but what's fucking new? I'd like to, like, christ. I liked what we were doing, when I stopped you. So. That. Only not...stopping? But going to the point where if nothin' else like.
[ he's only getting more red. this is stupid. john has SEEN sbahj, why is it easier to be crude about bullshit in comics and not in real life when he's nervous about managing to say something his boyfriend isn't okay with?
besides that part. about. that exactly. ]
Goddamnit. Okay. Like, things I'm chill with that we don't actually have to do until you are, too, if ever: like, frottage is what I was sort of tryin' to get across, or lemme give you a handjob.
[ also, murder him. dave actually managed the entire thing not flinching or looking away. he just got flushed and muttery and texan. ]
...You know, like. Whenever. If you want someday. Is what I wanted to throw on the table. Also on a weird note I kinda wanna trace that with my tongue but I figure you'll just laugh at that one and let me anyway if I ever wanted. [ vague gesture to john's right wrist. ] So yeah that's my bullshit.
[ the vague gesture ends with his hand at the back of his neck, making him look awkward and nineteen. which. he is? ]
[ hot potato questions: try not to. he manages to actually keep his eyes on john's although dave does not manage to not flush a little bit. but whatever. it's embarrassing and he isn't the derse kid who actually had some sort of porn collection.
that was like every other sibling, more or less???
but if he can't fucking say what he wants, he shouldn't be doing it. so. ]
This conversation's all over the place, but what's fucking new? I'd like to, like, christ. I liked what we were doing, when I stopped you. So. That. Only not...stopping? But going to the point where if nothin' else like.
[ he's only getting more red. this is stupid. john has SEEN sbahj, why is it easier to be crude about bullshit in comics and not in real life when he's nervous about managing to say something his boyfriend isn't okay with?
besides that part. about. that exactly. ]
Goddamnit. Okay. Like, things I'm chill with that we don't actually have to do until you are, too, if ever: like, frottage is what I was sort of tryin' to get across, or lemme give you a handjob.
[ also, murder him. dave actually managed the entire thing not flinching or looking away. he just got flushed and muttery and texan. ]
...You know, like. Whenever. If you want someday. Is what I wanted to throw on the table. Also on a weird note I kinda wanna trace that with my tongue but I figure you'll just laugh at that one and let me anyway if I ever wanted. [ vague gesture to john's right wrist. ] So yeah that's my bullshit.
[ the vague gesture ends with his hand at the back of his neck, making him look awkward and nineteen. which. he is? ]
[He's steadily raising his eyebrows as Dave continues to babble because for a moment he has legitimately no idea what the fuck he's asking for. As he continues though he's starting to figure it out and he just...tries not to chuckle because it's endearing and also he's a little nervous.]
...I cannot believe you just used the word frottage. [It's fine, he's a little flustered too even though he has absolutely no reason to given he's the one who's not a virgin here.] Like...yeah, that would be a thing I am okay with someday. Like a soonish someday, since we should probably start from the bottom and work our way up?
...why do you want to lick my tattoo though? [He'll go over his shit in a bit.]
...I cannot believe you just used the word frottage. [It's fine, he's a little flustered too even though he has absolutely no reason to given he's the one who's not a virgin here.] Like...yeah, that would be a thing I am okay with someday. Like a soonish someday, since we should probably start from the bottom and work our way up?
...why do you want to lick my tattoo though? [He'll go over his shit in a bit.]
Oh my god shut up. [ he shoves at john's face with his hand. ] And just because? I don't know, it occurred to me one day and I was like "oh, yeah, I want to do that". And I used the word because I am trying to be the adult here. I'm older than you.
[ dave makes a face, though. ]
Next time I have to say shit about this I'm just going to use extended metaphors and say fuck you, though.
[ dave makes a face, though. ]
Next time I have to say shit about this I'm just going to use extended metaphors and say fuck you, though.
[He starts laughing behind Dave's hand.]
Yeah, sure. You are older than me but I can handle other words besides frottage. [He looks amused nevertheless.] ...you can lick me all you want, I don't care.
[WORDING, MAYBE.] Babe. I'm teasing but I am glad you're at least talking to me instead of me going at this blind. I love you but I'm also not going to be an asshole that tries to do things either of us aren't ready for. Okay?
Yeah, sure. You are older than me but I can handle other words besides frottage. [He looks amused nevertheless.] ...you can lick me all you want, I don't care.
[WORDING, MAYBE.] Babe. I'm teasing but I am glad you're at least talking to me instead of me going at this blind. I love you but I'm also not going to be an asshole that tries to do things either of us aren't ready for. Okay?
...for a while, yeah, I was a little weirded out about actually going far enough that you were getting anywhere near my dick. [May as well be honest? The kissing helps to be fair.] And then I started thinking about it and it's just you. I would rather it be you than literally anyone else because that is what it means to be in a commitment with someone. Scary shit that you work through together.
So like. I'm not scared of you doing it. I'm scared of somehow fucking it up because dude, sex is awkward. Like. Always. The first time you fool around with anyone it is extremely awkward.
So like. I'm not scared of you doing it. I'm scared of somehow fucking it up because dude, sex is awkward. Like. Always. The first time you fool around with anyone it is extremely awkward.
When aren't we completely awkward? [ there's wry amusement and resignation. ] I know? I don't expect you to be suave or whatever and I really don't expect me to be. I just want to know what you want. Keep talking, I paid my dues and it's your turn.
[ ... ]
The weirded out thing kinda hurts but I knew that already. [ may as well be honest. he didn't tense up or anything. ]
[ ... ]
The weirded out thing kinda hurts but I knew that already. [ may as well be honest. he didn't tense up or anything. ]
It wasn't you personally, I promise. It would have been like that with any guy, mostly because I am pretty sure hooking up with a guy is way different than hooking up with a girl. So. Maybe weirded out isn't the right word. Psyching myself out? Maybe that's better.
...I just want to try these things with you and for us to be okay with however badly it goes. And not get turned off from doing it again after that.
...I just want to try these things with you and for us to be okay with however badly it goes. And not get turned off from doing it again after that.
I like psyching yourself out better, it sounds less about me havin' a dick and more about you havin' an incurable case of the Egberts. [ he pulls away again. ] I've definitely dumped you on the floor before while making out and you didn't stop trying to kiss me after that.
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