That this is mutual. [Since like? Dave is pretty damn affection-starved. It's still hard to tell if this is being into the idea of dating or being into the idea of constantly having John around in general.] If it's not, that is totally fine. I'm not going anywhere unless you really need me to go but you don't have to agree to something just because I want it. This isn't like that this time. You don't have to go with it if you don't want to just to make sure I am going to stay.
Please stop makin' me say the damn words because it's really kind of not fun to say them and have them disappear into a void of uncertainty. [ there's an unsteady laugh but like. it's not? ]
Yeah? I like you, John. And it ain't because you "want" that because I know I'm not... [ enough. ] ...so what next?
[ that. sounds mostly tired and he still hasn't even cleared up anything else. but he can at least show via saying that what he means by void of uncertainty, because there isn't an answer to "what next". ]
[ a shrug. ] You wanted time, and you can have it. And I already told you once that I wasn't goin' to ask you for certain things. So don't worry about it.
...I get it. [The smile drops and he moves, opening Dave's door before heading for his side of the car. This solved nothing since Dave keeps saying don't worry about it and that he won't ask for certain things which, of course, is fair, but he can't control his own shit either.] Let's just go home okay?
For saying anything. [ and there's a wry smile for a second and it's pretty clear he probably plans to not make that mistake again. because he managed to fuck up saturdays and probably sleeping together and holding hands and bullshit he can't even handle, and this is literally never happening and if he'd just shut the fuck up things would have been fine.
but okay. dave gets in the car and buckles himself in and doesn't bother to look over at john again. ]
[He should just shut the fuck up. So he waits for Dave to get in the car and he doesn't look at Dave either, assuming that there's no way to fix this right now and he needs to back off as Dave said. It's for the best.
And so they go back to their dorm and presumably it's a really awkward night.]
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[ at all. full stop. so no? ]
Which part in particular are you doubting.
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[ that. sounds mostly tired and he still hasn't even cleared up anything else. but he can at least show via saying that what he means by void of uncertainty, because there isn't an answer to "what next". ]
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Do you ever think we could be together?
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...I'm sorry.
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...not share a bed since that is probably not happening since he fucked up and Dave said he'd sleep in his own bed. Cool.]
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but okay. dave gets in the car and buckles himself in and doesn't bother to look over at john again. ]
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And so they go back to their dorm and presumably it's a really awkward night.]
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