I don't think he really would have understood. [ because it's john and he assumes the best in people even when he's shown the worst until it's, like, shoved in his face. and john egbert at thirteen hadn't really had a frame of reference for...
bad things in general, sometimes.
dave shifts, not exactly uncomfortable with what she's saying exactly - that is, he's way too used to the trolls and their murder levels after three years in close quarters, although he gets along best with the ones who, like, keep it to a minimum jfc - but moreso with the parts about her lusus and how...sort of open she's being about it.
it feels taboo, somehow, and while he knows why dave chooses to slam that mental door shut and pretend it doesn't exist.
he tugs the ends of her hair to let her know she's braid-free and then sits back, leaning on his hands. ]
It sounds pretty fucked up and awful. [ can't get around that. ] Cruelty can be insidious.
[ With the tug on her hair, she'll glance back over her shoulder at him, and then shift so she can actually face him. She's stopped crying, even if she looks like a mess. ]
This is probably going to sound stupid, but the happiest I've ever been was when I wasn't actually doing anything anymore. No plans, no schemes, no trying to save the universe or defeat the demon or whatever. Just kind of ... doing whatever I actually wanted to?
[ she tilts her head, trailing a few fingers through her newly freed hair. ]
No problem. If you find any nail polish, I can do your nails, too. Full on gossip girl time. I do not actually know what the fuck girls do when left alone together beyond "really boring strategy meetings" and "apparently hot dates I do not want to think about", admittedly, but hey. But seriously, it wasn't a huge deal.
[ sometimes he has to say the stupid shit first before he can circle around to the less stupid shit. ]
I don't think that sounds stupid. When I got...I was a lot of things, but one of them was relieved.
[ which is like.
bad?
you shouldn't feel any amount of relief when a sword - two swords - pierce your chest. and he had felt in greater quantities at that moment utter failure, sadness and regret that he'd let them all down, that he hasn't saved jade, that the timeline had gone wrong and yet everything in him had said meant to be the same way the little ticking clock in his heart had said not how this goes when john had changed shit when he'd spoken to jade.
but there had also been relief. he was tired and he didn't want to be the knight of time. he just wanted to be some guy. ]
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bad things in general, sometimes.
dave shifts, not exactly uncomfortable with what she's saying exactly - that is, he's way too used to the trolls and their murder levels after three years in close quarters, although he gets along best with the ones who, like, keep it to a minimum jfc - but moreso with the parts about her lusus and how...sort of open she's being about it.
it feels taboo, somehow, and while he knows why dave chooses to slam that mental door shut and pretend it doesn't exist.
he tugs the ends of her hair to let her know she's braid-free and then sits back, leaning on his hands. ]
It sounds pretty fucked up and awful. [ can't get around that. ] Cruelty can be insidious.
no subject
[ With the tug on her hair, she'll glance back over her shoulder at him, and then shift so she can actually face him. She's stopped crying, even if she looks like a mess. ]
This is probably going to sound stupid, but the happiest I've ever been was when I wasn't actually doing anything anymore. No plans, no schemes, no trying to save the universe or defeat the demon or whatever. Just kind of ... doing whatever I actually wanted to?
[ she tilts her head, trailing a few fingers through her newly freed hair. ]
Oh, uh... thanks, by the way. For the help.
no subject
[ sometimes he has to say the stupid shit first before he can circle around to the less stupid shit. ]
I don't think that sounds stupid. When I got...I was a lot of things, but one of them was relieved.
[ which is like.
bad?
you shouldn't feel any amount of relief when a sword - two swords - pierce your chest. and he had felt in greater quantities at that moment utter failure, sadness and regret that he'd let them all down, that he hasn't saved jade, that the timeline had gone wrong and yet everything in him had said meant to be the same way the little ticking clock in his heart had said not how this goes when john had changed shit when he'd spoken to jade.
but there had also been relief. he was tired and he didn't want to be the knight of time. he just wanted to be some guy. ]