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[parodeity]

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Comments

[parodeity]

I'm entirely ok with handing you your ass until you stop being ridiculous.

[ and. probably after that? but whatever he won't pull punches.

except that he will, in the sense dave is not cutthroat in the way of actually causing harm. he'll cheat like no tomorrow and doesn't pull punches tactically, but he won't really be trying to draw blood. it's enough to land light hits and shit, right? ]

[splinten]

Thanks. Your graciousness is overwhelming.

[We all know it's Dirk who's going to be really fighting not to beg Dave to make it worse. He will try very hard not to ask Dave to hit him as hard as he can. He doesn't want to suddenly realize he was Edward Norton all along.]

[parodeity]

[ okay that would probably freak dave out a little. he refuses to ever even inch close to the territory of what bro did to him in regards to...doing that to anyone else. ever. ]

I'm well-known for it, just ask Rose and Kitkat.

[splinten]

Fuck that's a great nickname.

[It works on so many levels. A root in the name, two different terms for felines, a reference to a delicious chocolate bar—it's a nickname masterpiece.]

[parodeity]

Right? I mean, he insists he absolutely hates it but he also insists he hates all my beats.

[ HE SEES YOU THERE TAPPING YOUR FOOT, KARKAT. HE SEES YOU!!! ]

Anyway when the fuck did you want to start this shit up.

[splinten]

Whenever you want. You're the Jedi Master now, bro. I'm just a humble Padawan Learner.

[Dirk's new method of dealing with uncomfortable situations where his obsession with control has caused problems: casually hand all the power over to the person who isn't a colossal douchebag.]

[parodeity]

I wanna be called Sensei.

[ don't give dave the power? ]

[splinten]

Why would you want to be Sensei when you could be a Jedi?

[This is a debate worth having apparently.]

[parodeity]

Because you refused to tell me how to get Wiz to call me Sensei.

[ APPARENTLY HE REMEMBERED THIS? ]

But also I am obviously Sensei Jedi Master. [ ... ] Commander-in-chief.

[ stop adding titles? ]

[splinten]

[...]

Okay.

So just let me know when and where, Dave.

[Dave picked too many titles, Dirk now will ignore all of them.]

[parodeity]

[ no he isn't picking a time until you call him at least one of those titles. have dave mimicking that thing dirk does where he just stares at dave.

HOW'S IT FEEL TO BE ON THE OTHER SIDE oh like dirk gives a fuck but dave is pretty sure dirk might crack re: training before dave does since dave isn't as gungho about that shit. ]

[splinten]

[Is Dave really trying that? On one hand, Dirk does want to train with Dave. On the other hand, this is stupid.

The laundry machine buzzes. Dirk takes his stuff out and puts it into his sylladex. He walks away.]

[parodeity]

[ RUDE but okay dave will just go do...something else????

he is pretty sure he had other things to do. maybe if he goes to bother john he will remember what they were. ]