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[ okay, it's apparently dave's turn to lose track of the conversation. he's. not sure what he was just asked. ]

Are you asking permission to chart our relationship or write formula - formulas? formulae? - about it because uh, knock yourself out as long as I'm not required to memorize any of it? Not that I'm bad at math. I am actually pretty fuckin' awesome at math. But made up relationship math is not a thing I have ever or will ever care about?

[ this is probably not what dirk was talking about when he said "if that's okay with you". ]

...No?

I guess what I'm asking is kinda stupid.

[It's incredibly stupid. Dirk realizes that because he tries to find a sentence for it and the sentence is really dumb?]

I... want to know if it's okay that I love you?

[...Yeah that's stupid. You know what he's just going to. Put his face on Dave's shoulder. Because that's the best way to deal with realizing you're a complete and utter idiot who doesn't know a single thing about being a proper human being. He bets Roxy never asks stupid questions like that.]

You what.

[ oh my god dirk???? dave can't actually judge awkward statements or questions because look at everything he's ever said ever but. ]

Dude, what was your plan here if I said no, you can't like turn of emotions like they're a lightswitch? Or like, go into settings and click "thanks but no thanks"? Asking someone if you can continue doing something completely involuntary is kinda stupid, yeah.

[ that said: ]

But yes it's okay with me if you love me, oh my god.

[ goes to pat dirk's head, thinks better of it, awkwardly ends up patting his...shoulder slash neck. look he doesn't want to get tackled again for messing up dirk's hair or something. ]

[This is the dumbest thing. He takes the... weird shoulder pat with gratitude (good, respect the hair) but also just needs to keep his face in Dave's shoulder for a while because god that was so dumb.]

I don't know? Keep it to myself?

[Why must he be so dumb. Why.]

Hope you're enjoying the mantle of older brother, dude.

[Because somehow this is related to Dirk's incredible stupidity as he hides against Dave. From Dave. Leave him alone it makes sense.]

Edited 2016-06-29 02:07 (UTC)

Saying dumb shit has nothin' to do with bein' older or younger, that is just straight up Strider genetics.

[ like.

bro didn't say stupid shit dave guesses but when did he ever talk to dave much? there was nothing awkward about that man because awkward would have been relatable. ]

Which I think is actually your fault since you're the source code of that shit, congrats, man.

[ is that how it works?

ectobiology...

dave pauses. ]

Wait. Or am I the source of the terrible with words thing because of my post-scratch interviews??? Shit. Do we share an equal fault here for the Strider Blurtscapades? Is p space responsible??? I have to know who to blame here, this shit deserves blaming on someone or something, it's nails on a chalkboard levels of awkward, always. The soundtrack to my life and interpersonal relations, and apparently yours? What a great genetic gift. Did you keep a receipt, maybe we can return it. Buy, like, some sort of dumb toy instead?

You usually default to blaming John for any ectobiological problems.

[Like. All the time.]

But I don't think we can hold your interviews responsible for my poor choices in sentence construction. I'm pretty sure this is all on my genetics, and the results of me raising you in one universe and myself in another.

[Whose fault is Homestuck? Dirk's.]

Ok, pop quiz. Have you ever considered that the whole thing you do sometimes where you blame yourself for like, everything, is just another facet of the narcissism thing I think you're supposed to be workin' on here?

[ dave begs to differ re: who is at fault for homestuck because if he had to pick he would pick

uh

lord english? he seems like an asshole ]

Also yes obviously it's John's fault too since he's not here to defend himself.

I have.

[And then hated himself more for it? He is so good at this. He's pretty sure he's turned self-loathing into a labyrinthine construction that Daedalus would weep to see.

But. He raises his head from its happy grave on Dave's shoulder. The slightest quirk of a brow suggests something like a smile.]

I was joking, Dave. Not entirely, since our social skills probably do more or less come down to our upbringings and how they affected whatever latent genetic aptitudes we had, so in a technical sense what I said was true. And also, John's fault. [For as long as he can't defend himself.]

But I think you're pretty fucking incredible when it comes to interacting with people, and I don't think that has anything at all to do with any iteration of me. You're the sort of person that others can get comfortable with.

Awkward mouth words and all.

It helps if you're willin' to like, own up to the stupid shit you say I guess?

[ and also being supremely easygoing about most things helps. dave is probably occasionally too easygoing (stop letting crazy girls dictate your life, dave) but when he's not bothering to be a dick he's too laid back to really. not get along with most people...

even when he's being a little shit he sometimes accidentally gets on with people. he has mostly been trolling korosensei and yet they seem to be basically getting along. oops. ]

But uh, thanks? You're good at shit I'm not good at though so. Shrug?

[ did he just say shrug out loud. while not shrugging. of fucking course he did. ]

You might want to try acting out the motions you vocalize.

[He means it fondly. Competency isn't exactly what Dirk is talking about here, but he'll let it slide. In fact, he'll even offer his fist for a bump.]

So we're good to go? Because unlike the Lalonde half of our clan, I'm not that big on staying too near to the Void.

[ the fist bump is of course immediately secured. ]

Yes, let's please vacate the area where the creepiest crawlies hang? Rose got all the genes that are into that shit. I mean, I'm ok with creepy crawlies when they're dead? But the living ones can just do their thing like, a million miles from my person. Screw bein' a prince of Derse or whatever, I have had enough horrorterror convos for a lifetime and somehow I keep gettin' suckered into more. Thanks, Rose.

[ because it always comes back to rose insisting. ]

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