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[ what

luckily for roxy dave is almost always willing to talk about any topic presented to him, although he isn't a fan of like. feelings and shit. he's...well, he's done a lot of that with dirk but that's sort of requisite to not fucking up the best fraternal relationship he has any chance of ever having, so he deals with it. but.

he squints into thin air, trying to figure out where the hell roxy is going with this. ]

Shit, frying pan time again already? I don't know that I have like, comprehensive thoughts on the yaois except that yaoi hands is a weird ass meme and I'm not sure why it's a Thing. Like, is it somehow appealing to people to see dudes with huge ass hands gently tenderly caressin' one another? I'd have to say I don't see the specific appeal in it. Also I don't really read the yaois, sorry, you might have polled the wrong kid here.

[ rose has probably read at least one yaoi. ]

Are you tryin' to write a yaoi or something?

No!

[ A little defensively? Roxy probs wrote all her yaois while completely fucking toasted, and she is just. So ashamed of the stuff she wrote, she can't even go back and read that shit. It's just godawful, the bi-product of too much gin and teenage hormones. ]

I mean. I don't get the big hand thing either it's like. How'm I supposed to--

[ --"fap to big hands and not big dicks"? No. Roxy. This is your son.

She clears her throat. ]

That ain't really what I wanted to ask you but if by "wrong kid here" you mean Rose likes the yaois then I'll be sure to ask her all about them.

I actually wanted to ask you somethin' else but I'm kinda afraid of the answer.

[ Mental frowny face. :( ]

[ Uhhhhhhh. Oh no. Is this a talk about more of the feelings shit she kept asking about?! ]

Please don't say you have more questions about my love life.

[ he has no idea why she would be afraid of those answers but PLEASE BE A DIFFERENT KIND OF QUESTION ]

[ ... Well. You just kind of opened yourself up to that. ]

No! Hahaha! But if you ever wanna talk 'bout it you rest your head on Momma Lalonde's shoulder and tell her all about it?

It's not that kinda question, you dork. Nyaaah. [ :P ]

[ LOOK ]

Okay, before I give you any more ideas, how 'bout you ask what you wanna ask? Or do you wanna ask in person or something?

[ before he digs a deeper hole ]

Okay, okay, jeez. So touchy. Siiiiigh.

[ Roxy's tone shifts dramatically. She debates tracking him down and asking him in person, but if the answer is anything than what she hopes it is, she kind of doesn't know if she wants to be around anyone... Kind of ironic, considering she grew up all alone?

Feelings are hard. ]

Okay, I'mma ask you, here goes...!

...

.....

................

[ SILENCE ]

[ is she doing a dramatic wait for it thing.

dave waits patiently for exactly three minutes and twenty one seconds before he decides that is not in fact the case. ]

Mom. C'mon, I'm not gonna judge about whatever it is. If that's...what you're worried about? Shit, okay, I'm not super great at the comforting people thing but, like. Do you want me to get Rose. Rose's psychoanalysis shit can be helpful when it's not being annoying as fuck.

Nah I would ask Rose if I could but you're the Knight of Time so it's gotta be you.

[ Sorry, Dave. You get to be the one to deal with your mother's impending existential crisis. You know, she really thought she would be okay if she ever turned out to be a doomed version of herself, and she'd just kind of... roll with it like she did before the retcon? ]

I wasn't gonna ask you because I didn't wanna bother you with my dumb problems, but it's really been eatin' at me and I gotta know. Idk if Dirk's told you anything about it, or maybe you already knew? I don't know how that shit time shit works. I don't know how any of this shit works.

Fuck.

Okay. Am I the real deal? And not a doomed Roxy, I mean.

Edited 2016-06-03 05:45 (UTC)

Oh, shit, I thought you were going to ask me something difficult.

[ dirk already asked him this one and he's kind of like "wow dude way to reassure mom on this matter after asking me about it specifically" but admittedly striders are not that great at Communication.

they're working on it. but they're not succeeding that well. ]

You're not a doomed version of yourself. I'm not gonna bother tryin' to explain it super well, but you're from "my" timeline, and I'm sure as fuck not a doomed Dave. I'd know if I were. Our threads match up, they're just a little bit different point-wise for whatever reason. I told Dirk that fillin' you in on anything shouldn't fuck with shit, since everything still feels okay.

That sounds so vague and magical girl but yeah, I'm just gonna own it. My heart crystal staff would totally give me like, some magical girl warning siren if shit went south, although dropping that line of thought because actually it's stupid basically I've got really good instincts for this kinda thing. If something's off I kinda get the feeling it's off, and while I'm pretty fucking sure this wasn't the exact way we were supposed to go, for some reason it doesn't feel like it's fucked with any of us into doomedville? I'm personally okay with this particular version of "why doesn't anything follow the bullshit rules our universe makes only to ignore later", though.

[ ...roxy probably didn't want all the rambling, did she. ]

You're the real deal.

[ She gets to join everyone on the victory platform. She gets to join everyone on the victory platform. Before she can feel relieved, however, just one more question... ]

Okay. So you and I are good. What about everyone else?

Rose, Dirk, and Feferi all check out. Well, Feferi would be anyway she's from like. Way the fuck back on our timeline, which weirds me out a little but she feels legit?

[ fucking shrug to be honest. dave's decided he may as well keep track of when everyone is from since he's the time player in residence, but he's not about to try to figure out why roxy and feferi decided to be from when the fuck ever they felt like. ]

Whatever's going on here, it's not dooming us, just. Giving me the heebie-jeebies.

[ "Relieved" is putting it mildly. Her thought-voice is relaxed finally, what with that huge weight lifted off of her shoulders. For the first time since her arrival, Roxy doesn't just have a feeling everything will turn out okay-- she knows it will. And not just for her, either. ]

Oh thank fuckin' god, you have no idea how badly I was beatin' myself up over that! I mean I was cool with it at first but when you don't face that shit head on it kinda blindsides you later and hits you in the back and sticks there where it festers, becoming something really fucking stupid that could have been avoided. I--

[ Wait a sec... ]

Feferi?

Fish princess from Karkat's session. She died like, three years back but she's not rubbing me as weird. Kinda think we should keep an eye on her because Karkat and Kanaya would probs like her to stay in one piece? Like, I'm pretty sure she's one of the ones they liked.

[ so!!!!! dave also thinks feferi might be able to handle herself, but he figures the four of them keeping an eye on her wouldn't be a bad thing even so. ]

Oh em gee, I know who she is! She's part of Fefeta! I didn't know she was here! Omigod... sweet, darling, sweet sweet lovely Fefeta. We had so many wonderful talks together. I still can't believe she 'sploded.

[ Roxy is sad if she's from further back in time, but that doesn't mean they can't become friends again. The fact that she is a troll fish princess is only a little terrifying sometimes, all things considered. But she knows Feferi is one of the nicer ones. The nicest, in fact. ]

You mean to tell me you guys knew she was here and none of ya invited her to any of our amazing sleepovers?!

I'd never spoken to the girl once in-game, it's kind of weird to start inviting her to sleepovers. And I've kind of been enjoying, like. The family face time?

[ honestly...like even if it had occurred to him to ask feferi (which it hadn't) he doesn't want to give up the family only aspect so soon.

like, if it were john or karkat or kanaya or someone he'd be more willing to ditch that, but for someone he's never talked to before? not really. ]

[ But... ~~Fefeta~~ Feferi... ]

Aww. You like spendin' time with us, for realsies?

[ That's so sweet. Roxy didn't even know, and she feels sheepish for even suggesting anyone else crash their parties. ]

[ well, yeah. of course he does? spending time with rose ever since the sibling revelation has been extra special because...first family member he knew didn't hate him. or spending time with him. now that there are two more people and they're like...a unit...

it's nice?

it's nice. ]

Of course I fuckin' do, we're all terrific company.

[ he sounds a little embarrassed. ]

[ Roxy has some insecurities, that's all. Dirk's not the only one who wants to be a good Mom. Dad. Bro...dad? Brodad?

Family member? Family member, let's go with that. ]

Hellz to the yeah! We're pretty much the best? One could even go as far to say we tha bombdizzle.

[ She sounds relieved, albeit silly. She just wants you two to love her, ok. ]

Thanks, Dave.

Anytime, Mom.

[ he assumes she means re: the reassurance on the doomed thing. ]

Anything else I can help you with?

Nah. You've done more than you'll ever know.

[ Roxy leaves it at that. It's silly to get into it, especially when there wasn't anything to worry about from the get-go. She wants to be trustworthy, loving, supportive and protective, all the things she's pretty damn sure her former self wasn't. She holds dominion over the void... maybe, with a whole lot of work, she can fill the void left by their neglectful guardians? She hopes she can do something, anyway. Dirk's not the only one who feels like he has a lot to make up for. ]

Actually, there is kinda. One thing I wanted to mention real quick? Just real quick. I get it if the subject's too heavy and you don't wanna get into it, but... Whatever you're doing to help Dirk, please keep doin' it? He's still an insufferable, overbearing dick prince a lot but he's, I dee kay... changed? Turnin' so many new leaves that he is just up to his goddamn eyeballs in life-altering foliage. Keep it up, will ya?

Also! If you ever need me to fuck him up for you I totally can. Just say the word n' your loving and super hot mom will come to your rescue like a goddamn superhero. Just call me Supermom, faster than a speeding bullet, able to fell dick princes with a single blow to their spikey anime heads full of shit and too much hair gel.

Oh, and one other thing while I'm monologuin' here, you wouldn't have any good gift ideas for Rosey, would ya? She's, uhm. She's really hard to shop for? But I kinda wanted to get her somethin'.

Edited 2016-06-20 05:44 (UTC)

You, uh. Think he's changing? [ huh. like. dave is aware dirk is being better about things he specifically asks about (did roxy never ask? is it just because dave is asking? he's still unsure of how much power he wields here and he is still constantly surprised dirk cares about him because he's...dumb). but like. it's weird hearing it from someone dirk has known most of his life if not all of it? ] I think we're doin' ok, but if I need an assist I'll remember that.

[ he will probably not remember that. ]

Gifts for Rose? I mean, I am assumin' you mean beyond just spending quality time with her, because she would be down to spend all the time with you. Why don't you guys start up like, a round robin writing journal or something, she'd probs get a kick out of that. Otherwise she likes cats like you do so you can't go wrong there? Although I think she is like way more lowkey about it, obviously. And like tentacle monsters. Do you knit shit?

Oh. Uh. I dee kay about that, Davey. My... mom left knitting needles behind and I played around with them from time to time? And I don't think my writing is all that great, tbh. Kind of huge fuckin' shoes to fill there. Both things. 'Specially the writin'. There's nooooo way I'm sharing that godawful shit with anyone, nope, nope, nope, nope.

[ Roxy knows she's not up to snuff. There's no way she could ever hope to be even a fraction as talented as her mom, and she's absolutely certain that Rose is no different. Rose turned out to be more beautiful than Roxy ever dreamed, so who knows? Maybe she's more talented than Roxy's unconditional reverence gives her credit for, too?

Those shoes are waaaaay to big for her feet, and she's embarrassed even thinking about sharing something like that with Rose. ]

So cats it is I guess...

[ She did program one of P-dot's drones to meow... maybe Dirk and her could build and program her a robokitty...? ]

Edited 2016-06-20 13:06 (UTC)

Honestly I think you're like, selling yourself short here? Rose isn't holding you up to some super high standards here. Not to say she's holding you to low standards, but you underestimate just how much I'm pretty sure she feels bad about believing her mom was in some passive aggressive war with her or whatever and not like. Getting a chance to ever be genuine with her. She wants a relationship with you, not with whoever you think you have to be to "measure up".

[ it's easier to give advice about this shit than it is to take it. ]

But yeah, you can't go wrong with cats. Rose is apeshits bananas about 'em.

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