recollé ic inbox 3.0;

[parodeity]

DAVE STRIDER

consider this your warning about stairs. itll just keep happening bro. im telling you man

VOICE | TEXT | VIDEO | ACTION

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Comments

[parodeity]

i dont think i can hold a candle to potentially japanese dude
but ill listen or whatever if you want ever
im good about keeping secrets
other peoples secrets
and mine sometimes

and yes
im serious about proper internet care and i wanted to know the odds of it being a thing thing or like
a bad cell service thing
ftr things also get stupider
but like
thats mostly irrelevant and more why tho

[doitrockapella]

He's the reason I know Japanese at all, actually. The longer I go without talking to him, the more I keep noticing all the little influences he's had on me. The way I fasten my coat when I go outside. My habit of leaving house slippers next to my front door. Idle little ways he's been important to me.

Sometimes I don't like the way he makes me feel as though I'm fifteen years old again, when we talk. But sometimes I catch myself wanting to feel fifteen again, a little.

[parodeity]

sometimes even when you werent that young as a kid
you want to go back to a time when someone took care of you i think
even if you dont really actually want to be that kid again not able to do certain things on your own
but
the comfort of it
its easy to miss that

[doitrockapella]

...I just realized the other day, why he picked out the house that he did. For me here, I mean.

He's the one who made all the arrangements, when he made me come. I never really put much thought into why he found such a large place when it was only going to be me and an adopted cat.

[parodeity]

so you could fill it up
or because you prefer it
?

[doitrockapella]

Because it's too big. It's impossible not to notice how big it is.

He made it impossible for me to feel claustrophobic anywhere in here because I can't NOT notice how open and vast it is.

[parodeity]

yeah
you seemed not entirely at ease with our little locked room venture
not that i can talk
i like having escape routes
and that didnt have them

he sounds pretty amazing
to be able to think of that
i think not everyone does

[doitrockapella]

It's not really a secret, exactly; I just don't see any reason to spread it around. But you saw that nightmare of mine, so.

That's when it started. I remember the roof falling in on me, and ever since, that apprehension is something I've never been able to shake.

You're right, though. I can't think of anyone else who would've thought of something like that for me, and accounted for it.

[parodeity]

i think the people who realize that theres shit you cant shake
and that you can learn to deal with but that you maybe shouldnt always have to
because you deserve to feel safe and secret and calm and not just forcing yourself to be
anyway i think those people
are pretty fucking precious
like fossil fuels
or something you cant renew
or like a diamond or
a star or something

its nice that they exist
and im sorry youre having trouble getting in touch with polaris

[doitrockapella]

Are you going to make up a thousand nicknames for him if I never tell you his real one?

[parodeity]

yes probably
but
idk sounds like a north star to me
am i that far off?

[doitrockapella]

You're not wrong. Not by a long shot.

At the risk of getting a little mythological, you could also say he's the Daedalus to my Icarus.

[parodeity]

except the wax wings he built for you didnt melt
?
i dont mind getting a little mythological
some shit just goes better for references to that
like
sisyhphus
good reference just his entire experience is like
mood sometimes

[doitrockapella]

Oh, no, they still melt. But he knew me well enough to know I wouldn't listen to being told not to fly too high, so he came prepared with a way of turning the sea into feathers beneath me while he was at it.

...You're right, though. Sometimes Sisyphus really is "big mood", as the kids are all saying these days.

[parodeity]

daedalus but craftier

thats exactly how we say it
air quotes included
i feel that way a little every time we start a new month
with more weird shit
but admittedly a lot more of it is "why not"
my memories have trained me not to bother being that bothered by weird shit

[doitrockapella]

Daedalus but well aware that his fool of a child likes flying too much to be afraid of falling.

Have you gotten back any unsettling ones recently? Memories. Or is that "same old", too?

[parodeity]

i remembered dying again
but thats same old
so
ymmv

[doitrockapella]

...

That's not something that ought to be same old, Dave.

Is that one of the secrets you've been keeping lately?

[parodeity]

its like my thing tho
and anyway
death was cheap
more or less

idk if thats a secret
its just something i dont see the point in talking about

[doitrockapella]

...

Would it be untoward if I asked what it feels like? Dying. Does everything just...stop?

[parodeity]

[ HAHA. WHY IS HE AN AUTHORITY ON THIS. ]

it depends on how you die
how it feels i mean
and as to stopping
i think that depends on the universe
there was this stupid thing
an afterlife
back home
the one i remembered last month
i remember waking up after
just another doomed version of myself
looking over at another doomed version of one of my best friends
and watching her eyes go white

[doitrockapella]

And so to the best of your knowledge, the afterlife just...collects these doomed versions of people?

[parodeity]

in that universe yes
ok im gonna like
give you the chance to walk away from this text rn
im going to say some stupid shit and you can choose not to read it
about how it works
because explaining anything about home is like
"im saying all these words
and they are stupid fucking words
and yet they are the truth"

!!! stupid warning !!!
anyway
to the best of my understanding
someone made some sort of illadvised agreement w the horrorterrors
which are like tentacle sky monsters
to spit out these dream bubble things
which are made up of like the memories and feelings of millions of dead teenaged players
(not promiscuous players tho some probs were
ppl who played the game)
and populated by ghosts
from zillions of timelines that went doomed
i dont know if it "collects" them so much as you just like
end up there
if you die
and you cant come back
but also you can die a second time
once youre a ghost i mean
because to my understanding some asshole was going around like
killing all the ghosts
for some reason?
im not clear on why
probably because life is stupid

[doitrockapella]

[I remember bragging about how I stole the talent of a virtuoso violinist, she almost types in response to his stupid warning, and after a second nearly follows it up with I remember stealing every single television signal in the world at once and I don't know how I could possibly, and then she proceeds to think better of both thoughts and just sits a while, chewing at her lip before figuring out an actual response instead.]

So death, in what you're remembering, isn't precisely the end of an overall existence. Just of an initial set of circumstances.

...That seems eerily relevant to what Retrospec claims to be doing with us, doesn't it?

[parodeity]

[ dave would, hilariously, accept both those things completely at face value because he remembers homestuck so why not. ]

yes
thats why i think i probably have something of an easier time going sure yeah that sounds legit
honestly
i cant help thinking of all this as another scratch
post scratch i mean
a universal reset