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[parodeity]

DAVE STRIDER

consider this your warning about stairs. itll just keep happening bro. im telling you man

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[windeity]

I don't know. I am just saying it would need to be really big, whatever it is. [Like forgetting, maybe.]

[parodeity]

Like wanting to move in with someone else?

[ like...okay he can’t think of any options. rose???? look ]

But you want to maybe rent a house?

[windeity]

Or whatever. But yeah. We...talked about the front porch and trying not to fuck up a small garden, remember? Did you think I was just thinking about apartments?

[parodeity]

Well...yeah? [ and now he feels kind of stupid ] - this isn’t a no by the way.

[windeity]

An apartment would be fine, too. We have a while, why did you ask me about walkie-talkies?

[parodeity]

Whichever you want. [ no need to give an opinion here - although he shrugs, sheepish, at the question. ] ...because I was thinking the other day they could be fun? But we have cellphones, so.

[windeity]

Did you know they have an app to turn your phone into a walkie-talkie? [Even in the dark, it's apparent he's grinning again.] Like you hold the button and record messages and they get sent to other people who have the app and you can talk in real time.

[parodeity]

I didn’t but I’m not surprised? There are apps for everything. But that still seems like - the point of walkie talkies is like the dumb shapes and stuff, y’know?

[windeity]

We're still going to your parents place for Thanksgiving aren't we? We'll raid the attic if you want. [Why is he suggesting this.]

[parodeity]

Unless you got a better offer?

[ did u get a better offer, john, ]

And, uh, we can, sure. There's a lot of cool stuff up there, when I am not being made to organize it. When I have to organize it, it automatically becomes like a million times less cool.

[windeity]

[At least the end of the fog is in sight.]

No, definitely not. We can look and not organize and dig up walkie talkies for absolutely no reason. It'll be fun. [And then while they're walking, he keeps chatting to distract from the tension thanks to the fog.] Dad used to drag me to antique stores a lot and a lot of them were pretty boring because they would get mad if you touched their stuff, but some of them had really cool things. It's one of the things I like thinking about when thinking about moving into a bigger space.

[parodeity]

I like antique stores. Or pawn shops. Secondhand stores. You know, places where there's weird old shit and you can poke around and find...whatever the fuck. When I was little, it seemed more magical than it does now. But now, it's kind of mindless and calming, I suppose.

[ dave listens but gives most of his attention over to navigating the fog and keeping them away from anyone within in; he's talking on automatic. ]

So you want to get a bunch of antiques? Or d'you mean you like the thought of shoppin' for furniture?

[windeity]

[Somewhere in the fog there's a cackle and John jumps, keeping up with Dave's footsteps and refusing to relax even when they step through the doors and enter a set-up that looks like an abandoned hospital.]

I don't want a bunch of antiques, but more buying stuff that I want for where I'm living. Maybe that's antiques, maybe it's just a really ugly couch, but it would be my stuff and that is the whole point.

[parodeity]

[ cool they're out of the mirrors and fog and dave can drop john's hand!

he does not do this, but he...could. that is a possibility. god. dave slows down and favors caution over speed for the moment. ]

Why couldn't your stuff be a non-ugly couch in this hypothetical?

[windeity]

[It's fine, they're both standing in a dimly lit hallway with a few doors on either side of them and a large operating room ahead of them. Cool. Fine. At least it isn't fog and he seems to calm down again just briefly.]

Because it's not as funny. What is wrong with an ugly couch?

[parodeity]

I'd prefer a not-ugly one if I get any say at all here.

[ dave frowns very slightly at the sight of the operating room, but it's not like he has nightmares about the stupid unreality twist or whatever it was. still, he's uneasy enough to glance at the doors, before figuring the exit has to lie towards the most obvious path.

so. forward to potential idiocy it is. ]

[windeity]

We can figure out our ugly or not ugly shit later. [The operating room doesn't seem to bother him since it's definitely the exit, and he can hear the groans and moans of "patients" in the rooms on the side as they walk toward the swinging doors.] But it would give it character.

[parodeity]

Why can't the character be fashionable and matchin' the drapes? [ wryly. but cool, swinging doors. dave's leery of any last-minute jumpscares, but he keeps pace with john, still not dropping his hand. ]

[windeity]

Why are you assuming we'll have drapes? [As they approach the doors, they'll also hear the sound of...a buzzsaw? Wow that's weird and not ominous at all.]

[parodeity]

Because I am assumin' there will be windows? [ wow not at all ominous. dave's grip on john's hand tightens but it's less nerves and more a desire to make sure he can't grab his sword. ]

[windeity]

And why wouldn’t we just have blinds? [The doors shift as they get closed and he allows Dave to grip his hand, not entirely cottoning on to why but assuming it’s because he’s also on edge.] ...think this is one of the haunted houses they use real tools?

[parodeity]

...Sounds real, but we know that I don't know jack shit about power tools, right? [ WRYLY...HE ADMITS HIS FAILINGS HERE ] And what's wrong with drapes?

[windeity]

I had no idea but now I do. And nothing I guess but--[There's no time to argue that since the doors suddenly burst open and a chainsaw-wielding doctor enacts the last jumpscare, quickly advancing on them and forcing them to head to the right toward the real exit.]

[parodeity]

[ cool so how tight or loose was john holding dave's hand because he almost definitely jerks his left hand like he's going to pull a weapon into it ]

[windeity]

[Tight enough so that he feels Dave's hand move and he tightens the grip, pulling Dave straight for the exit and plunging straight into the dark. The sound of the chainsaw follows as they head for the end of the hall, finally finding a door and exiting the haunted house entirely.]