I know how risky it is to talk about things. I do it with you, that's it, because it always brings up more shit. I remember when she told me to look up, why she wanted me to. I know the second any of them remember the shit I used to joke about, its game over. I couldn't hold it together in a non awkward fashion for the one time I talked to m - Roxy, and if she remembers that or thinks about it real close she'll - see the discrepancies. I kept bringin' you up and then backtracking at top speed and I was just really fuckin' morbid and the amount of times I made stupid deadpan jokes to the trolls and relied on them not havin' the human frame of reference is -

[ part of his reluctance is not wanting people to remember the bad things.

a larger portion of it is not wanting them to know. ]

You're goin' to be the only person I told without it bein' done for me, and even if that was done when I was out of my head freaked at least it was me doin' it. At least it wasn't me doin' it to preempt someone figuring it out. Because that's the fuckin' option I have , ain't it, if I can't - this is stupid. Forget all that.

[ he changes his mind and decides answering the question is easier than explaining himself. ]

I've always wanted your time. It's not a thing that goes away if it gets harder.