parodeity | WEEK THREE: MONDAY AFTERNOON, THE DINER

[ hopefully dave doesn't pick the meme song on kazoo.

violet is wearing one of her nicer dresses but. most of her clothes are nice so it might not seem that odd?? ]

Oh! Yes, I did. [ she'll pull the photograph out of her pocket to show to him. it displays a 12yo boy and a baby and there is apparently nothing odd about it. ] Did you get one of your sister?

[ dave pulls out a wallet, then pulls a photograph out of said wallet? he'll trade her.

also he's in jeans and one of his long-sleeved t-shirts, oops. ]

Yeah. Last week. It's...nice to have, even if I'm not sure what she'd think of me now?

[ i like how you felt the need to link me a pic when i thought eh lucy knows what klaus and sunny look like. ]

Wow, you guys look a lot alike. [ they also both look a lot like dirk but ] What do you mean? Unless you've committed a murder and haven't told me, all you've done is be brave. And reckless, but mostly brave.

[ a small shrug as he examines the photo of the baudelaires. ]

I've just...learned that I'm not the person I kind of always hoped I was, even I had a hunch it was otherwise. It's a thing that happens in high-stress situations, probably. You learn who people actually are, yourself included. [ klaus and sunny look like nice kids. ] Have you learned anythin' about yourself you didn't know before you woke up here, Vi?

I... suppose that makes sense. What sort of person did you hope you'd be? [ rose looks like a nice kid too. ] I don't think I have? Besides that I won't eat ice cream after an execution. I don't know if I've really thought about it.

A good person. I always hoped I'd be a good person, who...helped people. [ and he feels that he's failed that. a lot. ] In the past few weeks, lookin' back on things, and lookin' on shit here, it's like...

[ he hands her back her photograph. ]

...I guess I just remembered how things actually are. When I was a kid, I kind of figured it was the way it was, you know? Then I spent a year in space and thought maybe not? But nah, I was right the first time around.

[ that makes zero sense sans context, but whatever. ]

What are they like? Klaus and Sunny.

Well, for what it's worth I think you're a good person. You've helped me, and Clementine, and Emily, at least that I know about. If you're not a good person, I don't know if I know anyone here who is.

[ she will hand back the rose picture as well. ]

Klaus loves to read, and learn all about different topics. Before our house burned down, we had a huge library. Sunny loves to bite things, especially hard things. She debarked trees at the lumber mill all by herself. She can't talk yet, but Klaus and I usually know what she means when she babbles. What about Rose?

She loves to read, too. She actually likes Lovecraft shit? And like...psychology and a bunch of other shit that means she's basically the most brilliant person I know. She knits. She plans things and she's composed except when she isn't and she's...good. She's a good person. A terrifyin' person sometimes, but inherently good, even if she might disagree with the sentiment.

[ he takes the picture of rose back, and looks at it for a moment longer before slotting it back into the wallet, and pocketing it again. ]

She likes cats and wizards and her friends. And she really loved her mom, no matter what she said about it.

Wow, she sounds really interesting. I suppose it's unlikely I'll ever get to meet her, but if I could I would like to.

[ listen asoue kids don't have as many interests as homestucks. they get 1. violet slips the picture of her siblings back into her pocket as well. ]

Do you not share a mom? Or, wait, is that more of that uh... strange game mechanics you were telling me about?

She was raised by her guardian, I was raised by mine. That's...pre-scratch Dirk and...Roxy. The name's Roxy. We grew up in different states.

[ sure did grow up in different environments, too?? ]

That must have sucked. [ slang!! ] I couldn't imagine growing up somewhere different than my siblings. Um, except for right now.

Was "pre-scratch" Dirk a lot different from the Dirk here? I mean, I've kind of assumed, but.

I mean, I didn't know I had a sister until last year. We met online - like...via computers - when we were like, ten or so?

[ until then it was Just Bro. ]

...But yeah. Bro was...there's similarities, and maybe that's why it's hard, but he was...different. [ my fault, dave doesn't say. but he thinks it. ]

Oh. Well I suppose that's not so bad, then? Sort of. Or at least you found each other.

[ violet clearly knows what computers are thanks to a one-off joke by count olaf/nph. ]

I suppose he would be, since it sounds like he had a different upbringing. Where he says he idolized the other you. [ cough cough you're a good person dave ]

[ dave looks super uncomfortable at that. ]

He never met me. Back then. I didn't have a chance as his Guardian to...fuck him up. [ HE'S BEEN CATCHING UP ON MISSED TIME THERE, IN HIS OPINION, SHUT UP ]

[ EYEBROW RAISE TO THE MOON but she doesn't say or ask the obvious "why do you think that, dave,," ]

... You know, you both seem to put yourselves done a lot. [ ok and then ] What makes you think you'd have screwed him up as his guardian? I've known a bad guardian or two, you don't seem like you'd be one.

...Because that's what I did before the Scratch. I fucked him up. My Bro.

[ dirk disagrees, but dave's pretty sure that's why bro hated him. because he's this mess of a person who just...can't be normal. who can't measure up. ]

You... what?

[ she feels she must be missing something here because what?? she's Confused. it sounds like bullshit but firstly, WHY. ]

I'm sorry, I don't understand. Fucked up means messed up, right?

Yeah. [ fucked up means messed up means what dave does to people. ] And I was too fuckin' stupid and...terrible, to avoid doin' it halfway to Dirk.

[ squints ]

I'm not sure I can disagree with stupid, but terrible? Really? What did you do, murder your Bro? Steal something from him? Burn his house down? Kill whoever he loved? You can't just say you messed up and not tell me what you actually did.

I...made him into who he was. I made him so he just...

[ ... ]

I made him hate me. [ it's a quiet admission without any details, and it's one he knows is true. he had to be the thing that made bro...bro. because in another universe, it was possible for the guy to care. and trust people. and...not be what he was.

dave's the factor that fucked him up.

it's a chain of logic that makes sense to the kid who was abused for thirteen years and who has spent the past two weeks strung the fuck out and unable to allow himself to trust the people he keeps being told he should trust, free of any qualms. ]

[ opens mouth, mouth stays open. she sort of does a half step back, full step forward. she kind of wants to place a hand on his shoulder, but. ]

You can't... make people hate you. That's their choice. Why do you think he hates you? [ oh shit was dave's bro NOT a saint??? ... oh no she fucked up here didn't she ] And wait, I thought he was the one raising you? That's... that's like me saying I made Count Olaf who he is, for daring to have parents that left me an inheritance, for my parents dying in a house-fire.

Because he did hate me, and it was...my fault. I mean, I...holy fuck, I'm just. Not a good person, Vi. I've tried to be. But all I've managed to do is hurt people, and I can't...make myself trust him. I can't. And it's stupid, and I'm sorry, but - I can't be the person I'm supposed to be.

[ because he's too twisted and broken and he caused his entire fucking life, and somehow for a while there on the meteor he'd started to think maybe he hadn't.

now he knows better. ]

[ places her hands on his shoulders, in a sort of gentle grip. hopefully a stupid song is playing in the bg rn. ]

Dave. Listen to me, for once. If your brother hated you, that is not your fault. That just means he's a huge jerk and doesn't deserve you. [ things to figure out later: why bro sucks when dirk is so caring. ] You are the best person that I know here. A reckless idiot with no sense of self-preservation, but still the best. And I don't know what to say to make you realize that, but... just try to believe me? Believe me, because I believe in you.

[ lowkey wishes dave's sister and her like of psychology was here rn ]

And personally, I like to think I'm a great judge of character.

[ i mean he came here to show her rap music so like. how about this.

at least he does kind of cover one of her hands with his right one? but it's a slow reaction, after staring silently for a second. ]

I think...I tricked a lot of people into believin' that. Because I used to think I was...well, that's a lie, I never thought I was that great a person. But not...the level I know I'm at now. Everyone keeps askin' why I don't - why I'm not what I should be with Dirk, you know. And the only answer I have is that I'm well and truly fucked up.

[ he kind of...laughs it off. or tries. ]

But, uh. Thanks? For believin' in me anyway. With...all this, with tellin' me your role and goin' along with my bullshit plans and...trusting me, even though I straight up have never deserved it. I've tried never to lie to you, at least.

[ that is significantly less stupid than expected. ]

I think the only person you've tricked is yourself. And Dirk blames himself for you not trusting him, so I guess you're both being ridiculous. But I don't think it's irrational to have reservations against someone that hates you usually. If Count Olaf were here and trying to be nice and buddy like, I wouldn't trust him either.

[ DAVE IS DUMB this is dumb but. welp. she will just remind him he's being ridiculous until he knocks it off. ]

Well, I don't regret it. Trusting you, that is. For whatever it's worth. I think your plans haven't been that bad, either, minus the ones where you get hurt, of course.

No, I really did...trick him. Into thinkin' I was, uh, worth...anything. And even then - [ a shrug. he has never believed that dirk really cared. and now as can be seen in the main comm, he's going to die believing that. ]

You're one of the people who's made me feel like...a person. So...I don't regret trustin' you, either. Even if I feel like all I ever make you do is worry.

You're worth a lot, Dave. I hope you can realize that, eventually. [ but she'll give up the argument since they have plenty of time for her him to show him his worth, because they'll both be alive for weeks to come at least. obviously. ]

I do worry, but it's because you're my friend. That's what friends do. I wouldn't have to worry so much if you took fewer risks, though. [ almost a hint of a smile. ]

[ he thinks, quietly, that she's another person he's tricked into believing he's anything more than a dead man walking; a waste of space who can't do a single thing right.

but he just squeezes her hand, then lets go. ]

Well, hey. If I do get hurt ever, we have a backup key. And that'd make things...easier on people, aside from the like, fallout for the first day?

[ see if he said that violet would point out that he's underestimating her character judgment. so screw you, dave.

violet removes her hands, and takes a step back. ]

You're more than a key. I think a lot of people would be upset if you were gone, myself included.

Maybe for a while. But people'd forget and move on, and it'd make things...easier. If I wasn't around, not...trustin' people.

[ thanks for that cynical statement, dave. ]

...This is dumb. Hey, do you know how to dance?

You're right, that is dumb.

[ but ok let's move on. ]

Somewhat? I can do a box-step, I think. [ she probably knows either lite ballroom dancing or how to jive who can fucking say ]

So a waltz?

[ he'll have to go over to the jukebox to put it to Not Rap. then he'll step back over, do an exaggerated bow, and hold out a hand. ]

Want to, then? [ it's a convenient distraction from the conversation. ]

[ she's glad he doesn't expect to waltz to rap.

violet does actually smile now. she gives a small curtsy, before taking dave's hand. ]

Why, I would be delighted to, Sir Strider.

[ so he's like. never danced? with another person? but dave is quick on his feet always and he actually semi-smiles as he takes her hand, and puts his other at her waist. he's at least seen enough movies and is at least good enough at copying movements to get the gist of it - so he can guide her through it if she doesn't learn fast, too. ]

By the wait - Kaito's the Gangster. I think he might be legit. He has four shots - so if we ever need a weapon role...

[ kaito would be the one he'd suggest, and trust, to call on. ]

He also knows about the Copycat thing. Woke up today to a cat poster in our room, but I made it out like the Copycat is a guy, who I know? So. At the very least I think I confused the issue.

[ DOES HE LIE TO EVERYONE yes, pretty much. violet is a rare exception. ]

[ this is fine they're young teens this is what young teens do, in diners in horror towns. she will do her best to keep up with him, also taking lessons from movies. presumably different ones. ]

I'll make a note of it. Not a literal one, obviously, but. That'd be a handy person to have on our side.

[ at this rate she half expects dave to learn Everyone's role first. ]

A-- why was there a cat poster? To show that someone had copied you?

[ dave oh my god. how are your pants not constantly aflame. ]

It was a cat on a copy machine. So. I had to say somethin' to keep him immediately tellin' people about it, and if he does...he'll be tellin' them to look for the wrong person entirely.

[ he lets go of her waist and holds up the hand clasped with hers so violet can spin. ]

I was supposed to give you a letter, too. I mean...just in case, for when I go through my door.

Oh, that's. Not subtle. Okay, that's probably good.

[ she will spin! her blue skirt twirls around her, her dark hair flying up just slightly. she'll only spin once before returning her hand to his shoulder. ]

But you're going to be careful, right? A letter... that makes it sound really final, you know.

[ his free hand returns to her waist. this is a dumb way to have a serious conversation but it's calming him down a little; dave likes music and mindless physical activity so. dancing works. ]

I'm always careful. [ ah. he does lie to violet, doesn't he? ] But I figured...I don't know, do you think I shouldn't leave a letter? If I go through doors alone, I figured - just in case. But if you think it's a bad idea...

[ it's not a bad way to have a conversation, probably. better than standing there tensely. ]

Sure you are. [ sarcasm. ] No, it's not a bad idea, if you want to? I'd just prefer nothing bad happen to you, instead, if that makes sense?

[ look...at least he's being careful-ish of his injuries, okay. ]

Well, thanks? I mean. I also like it when bad things do not happen to me, although I prefer them to happen to me rather than to other people? But like...I do plan to go open a door after this. And I did not...write a letter. Shit. Can you wait for like five minutes while I do?

[ if he's not she'll frown at him!! ]

Hmm, gee, that sure sounds like something a good person would say. [ SHE'S JUST SAYING ] Okay, sure, go ahead. I'll be right over here.

[ she will just... stand here, as he does that. ]

[ she gets to see dave making. various faces. before he finally comes up with a letter that he folds up several times and writes "total bullshit" across the outside of.

it's all done on some paper from the inn, with one of his many red ballpoint pens.

at one point he simply scribbles something out for like three minutes straight while looking frustrated.

so. THIS IS AN ENCOURAGING THING TO HAND TO VIOLET, SURELY. ]

...Anyway. That's...yeah. I'll grab it back from you tonight or tomorrow mornin' and then we can like, burn it or somethin' if we can get the staff to give us matches?

Edited 2017-06-06 08:19 (UTC)

[ violet, standing near the jukebox, waiting: he's writing something stupid, isn't he.

but she takes it, eyebrows raising at the title on the front. she'll gently tuck it into the pocket with her siblings' picture, safe and sound. ]

That sounds good. I'm sure we could make a fire even without matches. It'll be fun.

[ SHUT UP IT IS ELOQUENT AND yeah he already regrets giving it to her, looking at the letter disappearing into her pocket mournfully but. you know. ]

Like with sticks and doin' the whole boy scout thing with blowin' on them?

[ too late too take it back now. ]

That's not quite what I thought, but sure. We can be boy scouts. That's probably easier than making a striker and our own matchsticks.

...How do you make a striker and matchsticks?

[ lord help him he actually sounds curious. ]

Hm, well.

[ she almost ties up her hair but instead her hands just twitch. she is not building this for real. right now, anyway. ]

Matches are just wood or stiff paper, and the end is just something that can be ignited. I'm not entirely sure what they're supposed to be made of, but it'd just have to be something that can create flame when struck against the striking surface. It's all about the friction, I think? They're probably coated in phosphorus or something, but I would think we could make something that works... Or I wonder if we could ask for the phosphorus if we could find the wood or paper ourselves...

Um. Rubbing sticks together is definitely easier, though.

I mean, I'm not sure they'd give us phosphorous, either, though we can ask.

[ he's mostly amused, now. ]

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WEEK THREE: MONDAY AFTERNOON, THE DINER

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ftr youre the worst, gestures at daves dead body

love u too

>|

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