parodeity | MONDAY AFTERNOON...ISH...

[ okay those three sound promising. dave will flip them open and skim to try to figure out which of them might be the most useful, leaving dirk to maybe search the other books lying around more closely?

granted, dirk is better at science than him probably but dave fakes it enough to at least kind of have an idea of what he wants. sort of.

it is useless to steal shit that isn't useful?

(he has a ruler and an apple paperweight.) ]

[Actually having more science knowledge than Dave only helps as far as he's looking for anomalous things like the Children's Cthulhubook there, things that speak of discordant levels of scientific awareness. What he's most interested in are things authored by a Phillips, preferably an Abigail Phillips, but also Philips Foundations things, etc etc.

He obviously still has ears on alert for Shuffly McSnapsnap the Monsterbeast.]

[An Experiment with Time talks about the possibility of there being more than past, present and future. Quantum Gravity seems to be an introductory type book to, well, the effects of gravity according to quantum mechanics. Finally, General Relativity for Dummies offers a very dumbed down explanation of how space and time interact with each other.

If Dirk digs deep enough, he'll find a book co-authored by several individuals. There's an A. Philips listed on the cover page. It's titled Understanding Our Place in the Cosmos: The Many Worlds Interpretation.

Shuffly McSnapsnap the Monsterbeast is busy making extremely worrying noises from the west wing, like it's... slurping on something? Ew. Next to them, one of the bookshelves is leaning precariously against the other. Try not to let it fall while you're digging around, boys.]

[ ok you have fun with that monsterbeast. for the record dave will definitely watch the precarious thing and make sure they don't overset it.

uh. fine these books seem okay so dave will take all three and wait for dirk to give an all clear before starting to head...east. towards the stairs. because west seems like a bad idea but he is still determined to go upwards. ]

[Yeah Dirk is not eager to mess with the delicately balanced bookcases. Dirk grabs the A. Philips book, and then quickly grabs an extra random book because look he no longer has a flashlight to throw.

Dave is apparently determined to climb stairs so. Fine. Guess Dirk has to do this.]

[The staircases are made out of aluminum. Rusty and hollow, every step they take will make a faint sound regardless of how quiet they may be. There is nothing that will provide them cover on the way up, should they proceed.

Make haste.]

[ unfortunate, but dave doesn't turn back. he'll be quick and try to find cover once they're up on the second floor, thanks to, you know, the faint noises.

it's probably bad he prefers the horrorterrors creeping around to bro's spector, even though that's what's following him up the stairs in a weird sideways manner. ]

[Hey. Fucking rude.

Also why is there no option to PARKOUR UP THE STAIRS BY BOUNCING OFF THE WALLS, HUH?????? LET THE STRIDERS PARKOUR!!!

Anyway yeah I guess it's time for the Striders to slam their speed stats and then dive for cover. Dirk slips his matchbook out of his pocket rather than his scalpel. Because that's safe in a library.]

[The slurping abruptly stops as they make their way up the stairs. Once there, they'll hear the distinctive sound of something large and slimy dragging itself off the floor.

On the second floor, they'll find the big ol' hole on the floor, looking very much like something smashed through the ground from below. There are no more bookshelves here, but there are at least a hundred cubicles, rectangular tables and desk chairs strewn around. Some of them are relatively intact, but others have been damaged by both time and the monster lurking below. Debris fills the room.

Noticeably, some of the windows on the second floor aren't boarded up. Instead, they reach all the way up to the ceiling, providing ample illumination to the room. There is a large chandelier hanging from above, though it's old and decrepit.]

[ dave shoots a glare at dirk for the matchbook which is more a frown than anything, with shades on. unless he sees anything worth looking at in the cubicles, he'll try to find a way to the third floor.

though staying quiet and ducking into a dark place sounds like a good plan he will take if the Thing makes it to floor two. failing that, he'll consider tossing the paperweight way in the opposite direction of the two of them to topple something...somewhere else.

THEFT WITH A PURPOSE no he literally just took it because it was an apple shaped item but that's a plan he will enact if it becomes prudent. ]

[Don't throw it? That's why Dirk brought a second book! And the reason he brought matches is also the reason he's making a quick scan for any fire detectors before he slips into a hiding place. Which, in answer to the frown, he points at. He is not trying to set the library on fire, okay.

Probably.

Mostly he's got a book to smash down something for a distraction (maybe) and/or to set on fire to set off the alarms to confuse whatever it is.

Anyway, in their sneaky hiding spot Dirk looks to Dave on direction of where to go next]

[There's nothing of interest in the cubicles, unless Dave's interested in discarded pencils, blank sheets of paper and a pair of glasses.

If there is a third floor, as could be plausible from looking at the building from outside, there isn't a handy dandy staircase that leads to it. That said, the second floor's ceiling is ridiculously tall — so that's likely to be the cause of the building's size. Some sprinklers are visible on the ceiling, but it's impossible to determine if they're functional or not.

They can probably get away with smashing one of the windows up here and climbing out, if push comes to shove.]

[ he steals the pair of glasses. because fuck you. otherwise if there's nothing that looks interesting he...

chooses to peer at the chandelier. how big is it. ]

[Do not swing off the chandelier, Dave!! Anyway Dirk mostly just wants to get Dave out alive.

Also himself. He guesses?

Dave though mostly. So he is attending to slimy slurpface the snipper's sounds.]

[Modestly big, and way up high on the ceiling. The only way to reach it is if they suddenly regained their godtier abilities, which.... yeah. This realm isn't so merciful.

Mr. Slurpface sounds like he's on the move.]

[ which way does he sound like he's on the move? dave has decided he wants to go back downstairs now to see if the history section has anything because why the fuck not ig why will no one spare him from the coming week!!!

anyway he will be cautious and only head down the steps if he thinks it's safe. ]

[And Dirk will follow Dave into death, I guess.

He also doublechecks the maps to see where the periodicals are? More local newspapers might be nice if they can find any.

Dirk, being a good person, doesn't point out they could've avoided this trip upstairs and its alerting of the monster.]

[Eastbound. So, directly below them. Periodicals are supposedly kept near the receptionist's desk, but periodicals may have also gotten munched on by the monster downstairs. There weren't any in sight when they first walked in.]

[ cool guess we're creeping west and making sure to watch for the monster and like. The upwards jump or whatever. dave is at least willing to find a quiet dark area on the level to sit and wait for like however long it takes the thing to go back to...being creepy and not on alert.

like hiding in a closet until you're sure no one is there. ]

[Oh well, periodicals. Dirk tried.

And is I guess gonna sit quietly in the dark with Dave for however long. Sure why not.

Goddamned Raptor scene.]

[The monster takes about 15 minutes before it stops pacing around the first floor. In the meantime, both of the boys can entertain themselves by beautifying the town with their art. There are more discarded pens and pencils under the tables and cubicles, which happen to be some of the best hiding spots on the second floor.

After a while, it kind of sound like the monster is... snoring? If weird, evenly paced growling can be considered snoring. That might be their sign to haul ass and get those sweet history books.]

[ what if dave spends his quiet time reading the stolen books more closely instead. or skimming at least. he will probably do that since the windows on this floor cast light?

but when snoring starts he will start creeping downstairs to go to the history section. ]

[Dirk will actually look what his second book he randomly grabbed was? Maybe it's useful or maybe it's just fun.

Cute (??) snores as their signal, Dirk follows his brother (??) down. There go the ninjas!]

[Your mods are Not Good at Science so please have mercy on our souls. If one thing is clear from the books Dave was able to filch, however, it's that the residents of Yuggoth had a clear interest in the existence of multiple timelines and infinite universes even before the game began. Or, perhaps, not an interest. The authors of these books, while not Philips, sound nearly certain that such concepts can be proven.

The second book Dirk picked up will turn out to be an elementary school level book. It helpfully illustrates skeletal anatomy, complete with a skeleton in a top hat. It's more fun than relevant, though, unless they want to give to Emily later.

The Teenage Sburb Ninja Striders will successfully get downstairs without rousing the monster awake, as long as they're quiet about it. Once there, however, they'll catch a glimpse of this between the bookshelves. Just the bottom half, covered in tough carapace and armed with sharp limbs. It's in the east wing.

Don't wake Fluffy the Slurpbeast up.]

[ what is in the east wing according to the map/directory anyway? but yeah dave is still heading to check out the history book pile. ]

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