parodeity | WEEK ONE: MONDAY MORNING

[ thanks dudes for ruining emily before dave could. ]

Uh. [ why do people keep offering this to him it's too much power, shit. but also: ] I'd like to know whenever you want to tell me, yes, but mostly because I want you to stay alive.

[ and that information may help to do it. god. ]

It might be the drawin' thing, then. I... [ hrngh ] I'm just jumpy, I guess, I want to investigate a shit ton more than I did yesterday? So the "itch" may be a desire moreso than like, an actual itch.

Oh. [That makes sense. Kind of.] Sometimes at the Golden Cat, some of the girls would talk about the "itch," and sometimes the men would talk about the "itch," too. But the girls would sound worried, and the men would laugh when they talked about it.

They said you should be careful not to get the "itch" going to the Golden Cat. I thought people would turn into Weepers, but no one ever seemed worried about turning into Weepers.

[RIP Dave. The Golden Cat was a brothel.]

I. [ YEAH HE GOT THAT ] No, I am pretty sure that is not the kinda itch we're talkin' about here. I mean, maybe that is how it will effect someone? Hopefully only adults, but yeah. I don't think that has anythin' to do with Weepers, which I assume are monsters or possibly rat plague stuff???

Oh. [Thank God, even though she doesn't know what The Itch was at all. Weird.] That's good.

Um. Weepers are... sick people from the rat plague. Mister Havelock and Mister Pendleton and Mister Martin said that when people got sick, they would throw up a lot, and they would be cold, and then they would bleed from their eyes.

And then, sometimes, they would try to bite you because they were "mad."

...Okay, well, I'm pretty sure we don't have to worry about that in particular here. Just...about people participatin' in the game, which they will be doin'.

[ he is not optimistic enough to believe otherwise. ]

Which is why I wanted to check in, besides the night terrors, because... [ ... ] Some people are probably already considerin' what they're gonna do, and you need to be careful. It's a game that you can't lose, okay?

Okay. I'm really good at hide and seek, and Corvo would have a hard time finding me.

[But also... like... he wouldn't try because she's ten, listen.]

So we'll try to be really good at this game, too. Are you going to go exploring? I went to the museum. It had strange pictures.

Do you know if anyone else seems scary? I saw a man throwing a chair at a door.

Yeah, I am gonna go explorin'. You can come with me when you wanna. But...I think to be good at the game, we're gonna have to use those "extra" rules that I am pretty sure everyone got. Me and you and whoever else. And hope real hard no one uses them against us.

[ laughtrack. god. he doesn't know what he's doing and he wants rose, she'd set everything to rights. ]

As to scary...I think there are a few people to be careful around. Anyone with "murder" on their card is maybe someone you shouldn't trust without real good cause, and like...uh, Kamui and Suzaku seem to be straight up storybook supervillains, so just...watch yourself around 'em, Ems.

Yes, I would like to come, too. Maybe we can find treasure, or a secret tunnel, or a room full of swords.

[????

Kamui and Suzaku... She's gonna have to go re-visit the cards and pay more attention...] Okay. They have reddish hair, so I can remember.

Mister Hibiki seemed nice. I'm going to draw maps for him if we find any secret tunnels. Should I not draw secret tunnel maps for him? He was going to take notes with paper instead of drawing.

A room full of swords would be pretty damn cool, because I would like a sword again.

[ HE FEELS BEREFT... ]

Hibiki seemed pretty cool, yeah. You can draw him secret tunnel maps, or whoever you want, the main thing to do is be real careful about your secret role, and also maybe to always let someone know if you're gonna go meet up with someone in secret? Uh...I mean, mostly if it seems shady.

[ ... ]

Like, if someone tries to get you alone late at night or somethin', because murder is apparently a concern.

[ HE IS SO AWKWARD GOD ]

[Dave...................]

Kind of like this meeting. Except more dangerous. Okay. [Totally gets it.] I don't think I can talk about my special role. I can... talk about it, but not about it either. I think I'll get in trouble. The extra writing said I couldn't talk about it.

[She glances down, nods, then looks back up.] But that's okay. I don't have to talk about it. [She smiles reassuringly.] If you want to know about the special job, I'll put them on the refrigerator.

That way, only you will know.

[ LOOK JUST DON'T GO TO SECRET KILLER MEETUPS EMILY THAT'S ALL HE'S TRYING TO SAY ]

It did? [ huh. that's actually kind of worrying - ] Well, at least there's that. If it says not to, definitely don't talk about it. I'm not sure if breakin' the rules has a happy end, even if I don't think we should just not try to save people.

[ that's stupid, even if not dying is probably going to be hard? ]

...But if you put shit on the fridge, I'll look at it, sure. Like...some kinda picture code?

[She nods.] Yes. I'll draw a picture, and then you can look at it, and maybe it'll help you. Or maybe you can tell someone else because it'll help them.

...Okay. When do you wanna do that?

[ eyebrows up because this sounds mysterious as heck, but mostly he wants it to help emily. helping dave is like, a tertiary concern, kid. ]

[But... but Dave is her ~*friend*~...]

Not yet. I'll tell you when I start, or maybe you'll know if you see the drawings. [She looks thoughtful for a moment.] I can't start drawing until someone dies.

That makes sense. [ although: ] Can you just show me the first drawin'? Or I will try to collect it before...well, people know you like to draw, Ems.

[ have to protect the kid with...HONESTLY HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT ROLE SHE IS ALLUDING TO he mostly just wants to protect the kid. ]

But I'll keep an eye out, or look and see what you can do, and...if you need anything, come and find me, okay? I'll do whatever I can to help you out. I don't let my friends deal with shit alone.

[ he offers her his pinky. ]

Promise I'll help.

Okay. I'll show you the first drawing. You can help me put it on the refrigerator in the kitchen.

[Her dark eyes lower to the extended pinky. She doesn't really know the gesture, but something about how it's done gives her enough to understand. Like a handshake. She reaches out and hooks her own small finger around Dave's gently. Then she smiles.] Okay. [Her voice lowers as if what she says is a secret:] Even though Corvo is Lord Protector, you can be my Lord Protector here for a little while, okay?

So I'll come get you if something happens.

Can do, Ems.

[ for all of what she said, but he meant the first part. he shakes their linked fingers, then lowers his own voice to say: ]

I'm a Knight, you know? The Knight of Time. So, while I'm here, I'll be your Knight and Lord Protector for a while, yeah. [ this means he has to try not to die. or at least he has to make dead sure there's other people to watch her if he does. ] Pretty sure Knights are obligated via some kinda code to look out for Empresses, anyway.

[The hand she used for promises pulls away and covers her mouth when she giggles.] You're really a knight? I like that. I want to be a knight too. It sounds fun. And then you'd get a sword.

Maybe when I'm older I can be a knight. Or a Lord Protector. I don't really want to be Empress. It's boring. [Sorry Ma.]

What does the Knight of Time do?

A lot of stuff Seers tell him to do, but basically...I suppose what I mostly do is defend the timeline, like it's supposed to be. Back home things can get a little...weird? And end badly, or how they were not supposed to. I'm supposed to make sure they go how they were meant to.

[ via lots of dying or whatever but ]

If you wanna be a knight or a Lord Protector, I think you definitely can do it. Empresses can decide to do whatever they want, I think, even if what they want is to not be an empress.

[She nods in agreement. Hell yeah, Empresses can be whatever they want! Fuck the police! (And the whole kingdom, apparently.)] I'm glad you're a knight, Dave. [She puts her small hand on his shoulder, nods her head again.] I think you're a good knight. Even if this is a funny game in a funny place, and even if people have to die.

I think you'll be a good knight, and you'll protect everyone.

[No pressure.]

[ oh my god that's the most pressure ever. still, though. ]

I'll do my best. [ he'll try for the little empress who drew him a picture of his sister - sure. ] Hey - do you want to eat breakfast together every day? Just to check in.

[ not like always private convos but lmao he just wants to be sure she's okay daily let him rest ]

[Dave: week one kill, dead of a heart attack because of a ten year old girl.]

Yes. I would like that. Then we can make sure we're okay, and we can share secrets without anyone hearing. And maybe if we find some things, we can share them too. If we talk to other people, we can tell each other who is scary and who is nice.

Like Clementine. I stay in a room with her. She seems okay.

[ emily why would you do this to him, an innocent ]

I like Clem. People're gonna be formin' groups, I think, as they learn who to trust or not trust, although mostly...I think mostly trust is a thing you decide to do, and you hope really hard you ain't wrong.

[ he is just choosing not to think about that too hard right now, with this girl. ]

She's one of the people I want to trust, I think.

[Um, wow... no pressure in return. Her, also an innocent, who loves to talk to anyone that will listen. Not be wrong about intent.

Thankfully, she's had some practice, and she seems rather keen on who is sketchy and who isn't. Usually.] Me too. Because she said she doesn't want to stay here any longer than she has to stay.

So she wants to leave. I think if you wanted to be bad, you wouldn't want to leave. So you can keep being bad.

[ EMILY PLEASE DO NOT TRUST EVERYONE DAVE WILL HAVE A HEART ATTACK ]

She also wants to be in a group with you, I think. You and me? Like, I think she'd be down.

[ why does he not want to be in a group that is not made up of kids. christ. ]

I trust her more because she seems... [ ... ] Relatable. Smart.

I think so too. We should include her in our special plans. Maybe ours roles can help each other. Do you think she'd like to eat breakfast with us?

I think she probably would. [ hmmm. he does want to know what the hell clem can do, because if she has something that can help them - but also, he just likes clementine. ]

We should all maybe talk, as soon as we figure out what it is you got, Ems. Although we'll trade me to her first, 'cause somehow, I think that's how it'll have to work for her. She's cautious like that.

Okay. I'll ask her if she wants to eat breakfast with us when we're in our room. Unless you ask her first.

[For a moment, Emily looks thoughtful.] Maybe if we tell her first, she'll tell us. That way, she feels safe.

She might. I'll trade with her later, maybe, and then we can try to guess together what your picture is come Sunday.

[ since two people going ??? at a drawing is better than one, surely. ]

We could meet up in your guys' room?

[Especially a ten year old's drawing. RIP.]

Yes! We could show you our room! And maybe we can make snacks in the kitchen and bring them, too. In case we get hungry when we're talking about important things.

[ LOOK, DAVE AND CLEMENTINE WILL TRY TO DECIPHER YOUR ROLE FROM THAT I GUESS EMILY? LOOK FORWARD TO IT? ]

Then it's a deal for Sunday, or - whichever day you can do your thing on. Just come grab me whenever and I'll come over. And we can def make snacks, yeah.

Okay! I will come get you, and we can all have breakfast together. [She smiles, but then it falters just a little.] Um. Dave, do you think anyone has any bad roles?

[ like, good question, and he can't sugar coat this one? ]

There are more than forty of us, so I think so. I mean...it's a safe assumption to make, and it's a dangerous assumption in the opposite direction, to just say everyone has good roles. So...I think probably they do. We just have to be really, really careful those people don't find us dangerous.

[ or at least not find emily dangerous, rip ]

But if we stick to a small group until we're sure who else...isn't dangerous, it should be okay.

[ M...AYBE ]

Okay. Some people might have bad roles. We should be careful. We should tell Clementine to be careful too. She'll be okay if she's with us.

If something funny happens, I'll tell you, okay?

Same here, Ems. And yeah - you and Clem focus on bein' careful and I'll...

[ take the risks? um. ]

...Try to feel other people out.

WEEK ONE: MONDAY MORNING

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