personal overflow post;

[parodeity]

Comments

[parodeity]

Whoa, that's huge. Is it some kinda special tree? Like, is there a tree spirit living in it?

[sharplydressed]

You know, I'm not really sure? [EYING THE TREE...] It is pretty unnatural-looking, though.

[parodeity]

Maybe we should go talk to it? [ why does he want to poke at things ]

[sharplydressed]

[Dave and John are both two idiot peas from the same idiot pod, news at 11.]

...Well, I guess it couldn't hurt. I don't feel like there are any bad things tied to it, anyway?

[FAMOUS LAST WORDS as he walks on over...]

[parodeity]

[ THIS CALL OUT ]

Okay, cool. How do we address it, like...O Great Tree Spirit: sup?

[ as he follows... ]

[sharplydressed]

[IS IT NOT TRUE.]

Oh my god, Dave. [The tree doesn't seem to be impressed either. It just stands there, tree-like as ever, but there's a distinct feeling that it'd be staring disapprovingly if it had a face to stare with.

Which is kind of unnerving, and Kashuu makes a face.]

...Okay, but seriously, I don't want this to turn into some weird Grandfather Willow thing.

[parodeity]

[ I MEAN, MAYBE, BUT ]

Okay, well...you try, then?

[sharplydressed]

[JUDGING SWORDS ARE GONNA JUDGE.]

Uh. Geez-- Hey, tree? What's going on. [Why. Again, it seems Unimpressed™...

Also, there's now blood seeping up from under its roots. CHARMING.]

[parodeity]

Uh...

[ yeah, he sees the blood and leans. towards kashuu. ]

Is it threatening us? Like "wow you peons this is gonna be you if you don't fuck off, y'hear?"

[sharplydressed]

I don't know! I've never talked to a tree before, so--

[Oops wait

here he is, having a flashback in the middle of a lucid dream.]

...Maybe we should give it some room.

[parodeity]

...Does it want to eat us??

[ BUT HE WILL BACK OFF A BIT, SURE, the blood is creepy as fuck ]

[sharplydressed]

No, I'm pretty sure this is just... a memory? Kinda? Not really, but I definitely remember some guy talking about how you make sakura trees beautiful by burying bodies under it or something.

[Which he just WAVES OFF as if that's totally normal.

At least the blood puddle doesn't seem to be extending their way...]

[parodeity]

...Was this guy a serial killer by any chance?

[sharplydressed]

...No, but he was definitely a sword. Like, a really sword-y sword.

[parodeity]

Did he like suggest you go find some bodies to put under it?????

[sharplydressed]

[A PAUSE... Don't judge them, Dave.]

Maybe? Well, not exactly that, but he definitely said that we could turn the tree into a sakura tree if we buried bodies under it.

[parodeity]

I mean, I guess it would be a pretty good way to recycle the bodies of your enemies?

[ HE'S NOT JUDGING

APPARENTLY

he's just ??????????????????????????????? ]

[sharplydressed]

Oh my god, Dave. That's not what normal people do.

[GRANTED normal people also don't have bodies of their enemies to recycle in the first place?!]

Besides, I think our enemies just kind of... disappeared after they died? Which is good 'cause I don't want those things buried around here. This is a nice garden!

[parodeity]

Well where'd he plan to get the bodies from, then!

[sharplydressed]

...War, probably? I guess. I mean, we were at a lot of battlefields, y'know?

[parodeity]

I thought your enemies like, vanished?

[sharplydressed]

Oh— yeah, but we go to human battlefields when we fight. They're trying to like, change the course of history, y'know? So we're always going back to stop 'em, and they usually choose places where fights are already happening.

[parodeity]

...Does that ever cause paradoxes?

[sharplydressed]

Not as far as I know, but I think that's probably our job... To stop that kind of stuff from happening. We're just supposed to make sure things happen the way that we know 'em in the future, y'know? Like, if so-and-so dies and this-or-that place, then we make sure they do. That kinda stuff. The details are pretty vague to me, though.

[He assumes they'll become clearer with time BUT HE'S A FOOL AND ALSO WRONG.]

[parodeity]

That...kind of sounds like time player jobs. Huh. Although if your universe worked by my universe's rules, you'd be guaranteed to succeed if it hadn't fucked itself up in the future already...