I want this. [ letting go lets him focus more on what he's saying anyway, fingers playing out a beat from one of john's works-in-progress heard from the music room at the back of john's neck. ] I want you, like this. I...really don't think we rushed it. I didn't rush deciding I wanted this, you. I dumped you out of my lap in February for - I wasn't ready then and I would have shoved you out of bed if you'd tried shit back then.

[ so. ]

But we've been dating almost eight months. And I've known you for months, years, longer than that. And I trust you, and I want this. So. My mind isn't gonna change even if we manage to make this the most awkward experience ever. We'll just, like, have to practice or something if we suck at it.