[ sometime before this, karkat definitely both tried calling dave and contacting him via telepathy before suddenly stopping after saying like half a word. any attempt dave would have made to get in touch back would have been ignored and now finally he is getting this. ]
OK SO FIRST OF ALL I NEED TO PREFACE THIS BY SAYING I DID NOTHING WRONG. IT IS VERY IMPORTANT THAT YOU UNDERSTAND THIS FACT, DAVE AND REPEAT AFTER ME: KARKAT VANTAS DID ABSOLUTELY *NOTHING* WRONG. ONCE YOU ACCEPT THIS AS THE COMPLETE AND UTTER TRUTH WE CAN MOVE ONTO THE REST OF THIS CONVERSATION WITHOUT WASTING TIME BICKERING ON SHIT THAT DOES NOT MATTER. AS WE TEND TO DO. NOT THAT I DON'T ENJOY OUR LITTLE SPATS. YOU'RE ATTRACTIVE WHEN YOU ACTUALLY TRY TO WIN INSTEAD OF JUST SHRUGGING YOUR UPPER ARM GUARDS IN THAT NONCHALANT COOLKID WAY OF YOURS THAT IS OBVIOUSLY STAGED. WAIT SHIT I AM GETTING OFF TOPIC HERE. I'M ACTUALLY NOT ENTIRELY SURE HOW TO APPROACH THIS SUBJECT? I MEAN OBVIOUSLY I HAVE ALREADY APPROACHED IT. THIS IS ME, KNOCKING VERY HARD ON THE ENTRANCE OF THE SUBJECT'S HIVE, WAITING TO BE LET IN. OH MY FUCKING GOD ALRIGHT THIS IS JUST GETTING STUPID. STUPIDER THAN THE USUAL LEVEL OF STUPID, WHICH IS NORMALLY ALREADY PRETTY HIGH. YOU WOULD THINK LEAVING THE GAME AND ENTERING AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT UNIVERSE THAT'S SET TO DIFFERENT RULES WOULD SOMEHOW LESSEN THE STUPID METER BUT OH NO. IT'S STILL RISING. NOTHING CAN STOP THIS TRAIN. CHOO MOTHERFUCKING CHOO. UGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH! RIGHT SO DAVE. I JUST NEED TO MAKE IT VERY CLEAR THAT IF YOU HEAR ANYTHING ABOUT WEDDINGS TO JUST IGNORE IT? IT'S NOTHING. IT'S JUST A JOKE THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH EITHER OF US. ALSO REMEMBER THE FIRST POINT THAT IS THE FACT THAT I DID NOTHING WRONG EVER.
8/1..... sometime in the evening probably
OK SO FIRST OF ALL I NEED TO PREFACE THIS BY SAYING I DID NOTHING WRONG.
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT THAT YOU UNDERSTAND THIS FACT, DAVE AND REPEAT AFTER ME:
KARKAT VANTAS DID ABSOLUTELY *NOTHING* WRONG.
ONCE YOU ACCEPT THIS AS THE COMPLETE AND UTTER TRUTH WE CAN MOVE ONTO THE REST OF THIS CONVERSATION WITHOUT WASTING TIME BICKERING ON SHIT THAT DOES NOT MATTER.
AS WE TEND TO DO.
NOT THAT I DON'T ENJOY OUR LITTLE SPATS. YOU'RE ATTRACTIVE WHEN YOU ACTUALLY TRY TO WIN INSTEAD OF JUST SHRUGGING YOUR UPPER ARM GUARDS IN THAT NONCHALANT COOLKID WAY OF YOURS THAT IS OBVIOUSLY STAGED.
WAIT SHIT I AM GETTING OFF TOPIC HERE. I'M ACTUALLY NOT ENTIRELY SURE HOW TO APPROACH THIS SUBJECT? I MEAN OBVIOUSLY I HAVE ALREADY APPROACHED IT.
THIS IS ME, KNOCKING VERY HARD ON THE ENTRANCE OF THE SUBJECT'S HIVE, WAITING TO BE LET IN.
OH MY FUCKING GOD ALRIGHT THIS IS JUST GETTING STUPID. STUPIDER THAN THE USUAL LEVEL OF STUPID, WHICH IS NORMALLY ALREADY PRETTY HIGH.
YOU WOULD THINK LEAVING THE GAME AND ENTERING AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT UNIVERSE THAT'S SET TO DIFFERENT RULES WOULD SOMEHOW LESSEN THE STUPID METER BUT OH NO. IT'S STILL RISING. NOTHING CAN STOP THIS TRAIN. CHOO MOTHERFUCKING CHOO.
UGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
RIGHT SO DAVE. I JUST NEED TO MAKE IT VERY CLEAR THAT IF YOU HEAR ANYTHING ABOUT WEDDINGS TO JUST IGNORE IT? IT'S NOTHING.
IT'S JUST A JOKE THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH EITHER OF US.
ALSO REMEMBER THE FIRST POINT THAT IS THE FACT THAT I DID NOTHING WRONG EVER.