That's certainly not healthy. For either of you. Have you tried saying that? As in, "Dirk, you trying to take yourself apart to earn my good will is not something that I want from you. I'd rather you just be you, but not an asshole." ? Though perhaps that would be too on the nose for either of you. I suppose offering a group therapy session would be a no go?
Hm. It pains me to say this since I still think what you did was stupid and reckless, but taking yourself away from the confrontation when you knew you weren't handling it, so that you could later come to that conclusion is actually a good thing. Continuing the rather pointless, harmful argument would have done neither of you much good, nor your relationship. Taking yourself out of the situation temporarily isn't the worst thing you could have done.
Of course, that would be the only appropriate reaction. I'll be certain it meets your high standards and expectations.
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Have you tried saying that? As in, "Dirk, you trying to take yourself apart to earn my good will is not something that I want from you. I'd rather you just be you, but not an asshole." ?
Though perhaps that would be too on the nose for either of you.
I suppose offering a group therapy session would be a no go?
Hm. It pains me to say this since I still think what you did was stupid and reckless, but taking yourself away from the confrontation when you knew you weren't handling it, so that you could later come to that conclusion is actually a good thing. Continuing the rather pointless, harmful argument would have done neither of you much good, nor your relationship. Taking yourself out of the situation temporarily isn't the worst thing you could have done.
Of course, that would be the only appropriate reaction. I'll be certain it meets your high standards and expectations.