parodeity | monday evening;

[Suits him just fine since he's still healing up from self-detonating and he's not quite back to normal yet. So he lifts his eyebrows at the question instead.]

On and off. That update last week was something, wasn't it? [Where're you going with this Dave...]

Sure fuckin' was. [ ...ok he could beat around the bush, but. ] Are you talkin' to dead people via a shitty off brand nintendo game too. Because I def had a chat from beyond the grave.

[ ... ]

I don't think it's a joke because tbh it sounds legit.

[ LIKE

DREAM BUBBLES ARE A THING BACK HOME WHY WOULD ANYONE EXPECT DAVE STRIDER TO DO ANYTHING OTHER THAN GO "OK THEN" TO A MESSAGE FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE ]

I'm not, no. [Because Luke's life continues to be a cosmic joke where everyone around him gets spoken to by people they can't see and he gets ignored. But.] But I know a couple of people who have. You'd think they'd know better than to send messages at midnight.

[Regardless.] Dare I ask who?

Allen. [ he has no issues spilling. ] He wants to be careful about this shit because apparently they don't want our vent-alien friends to catch wind of the apparent plot? Which is legit. ...Which means we should be careful about sharing it around, but, you know what.

[ he is just going to Assume luke isn't an alien because his head will hurt otherwise. ]

Who else is gettin' chatty? Wonder if they're all tellin' us the same shit. We should like. Debrief or try to act serious I guess...even if apparently our antagonists are named after greek food.

I'm glad somebody else noticed that. [He even laughs. Should've known Dave wouldn't let him down making fun of the aliens' names. But he sombers up a bit after that.] You want the names of the dead, or the living that they talked to? I was sworn to secrecy or whatever but you're not the first person to drag me into this. It'd be better if everybody was on the same page anyway.

Kinda curious about both but I'm not about to make you break a promise?

[ since dave isn't the sort to pry. THIS IS WHY HE'S TERRIBLE AT INFO-GATHERING, ISN'T IT. ]

Though I do agree it'd be chill if someone like, consolidated what we have to a page because. I'll be honest. I have no idea what the fuck any of what Allen told me means? Like cool, semi-alien deets. But the rest of it is like, ok what variety of mindfuck is going on here.

Not sure if it's breaking a promise if I only give you half the information. Loopholes, Strider. Just remember that. [But he pauses, rolling his eyes to the ceiling to thinking.]

Got word from Arumat, Bull and Kazuma. [Maybe Dave can figure out who the other parties involved are just from that.] A lot of their information synced up but they also had individual pieces to share. It's kinda why I'm interested in what Allen had to say.

...why don't we start with that and I'll tell you if it's something we do or don't know already. That fair? If it's stuff we don't know, that'll give me leverage to go back and maybe see about sharing my sources, too.

[ he kinda can, but dave nods, casual. ]

Would've told you even without the for leverage thing, tbh. Gotta share with someone and as long as you make sure whoever you think should know knows...if they're not comfortable with me bein' in the loop, that's chill.

[ but ok, a report. dave shifts, arms crossed over his chest, and tries to sum up. ]

Apparently they can only contact us for five minutes at a time. I assume it's a weekly thing? Idk. We'll see when they start sending messages this week, or when they don't. Anyway, the person who gave 'em the way to talk to us was Captain Sonya Perkins - apparently she's wherever the fuck dead people hang with them. I am assumin' it's not dream bubbles because this place is surely not that bullshit, but. According to her, our greek food skewers were murderin' her crew left and right, and also they have a queen or something. Also, we were her crew or some shit.

Which implies memloss I don't even wanna think about because of fucking course something's up with our memories. Just what we needed? Allen says he thinks Perkins is legit, and I guess I'm inclined to take his word for it since tbh I don't see what a dead cap has to gain from tellin' us any of this as a lie?

Apparently the Cradle Project wasn't supposed to be a killing game, though, which seems p damn important. Makes me wonder if Alice is like, alien virused or what? Or maybe we're just being played in how this shit is goin' down and we're not seein' what's really happening. Unsure.

They're gonna be comfortable with it whether they like it or not. [It's almost-casual but there's enough of a bite to it to indicate that he's going to force the issue regardless. Dave is Dave and he trusts Dave. Not to mention that Allen trusts Dave enough to contact him and that currently means something big.

He's nodding along because all of that makes sense. All of that is stuff he's learned already and it corresponds with everything else.]

Can confirm we've lost memories, supposedly. That was brought up by a few people so that's a little weird to think about. I'm not sure I wanna buy it. I don't like the idea of people messing with my head again.

[...but it's that last part that intrigues him. That's new.] What do you mean the Cradle Project wasn't meant to be a killing game? Like I know it was supposed to help connect the living and the dead, but what exactly did Allen say? Do you remember?

[ dave just nods, content to let luke make the decision here. as long as he shares what he knows, he knows it'll get to...the resistance? what even is this. the people who know what they're doing?

god he hopes someone here knows what they're doing. ]

Yeah, kinda don't wanna buy it either. But anyway, Allen said he talked to Sonya about the killing aspect of the whole thing here and she said that wasn't the cradle project.

[ and the thread is ongoing so maybe he will!! clarify that!! but ]

Like his exact words were "When I mentioned the killing aspect to the captain, she said that isn't the Cradle Project."

Then somebody really, really fucked up. [That's startling. He has to go back and think a little more, but he tugs on his bottom lip in thought.]

...there've been some notes floating around about what the Cradle Project actually is. Anybody tell you about those yet?

[ dave shakes his head, brow furrowing. ]

Not really? Kinda figured it was some like...repopulation thing when I first heard the term but I seriously doubt that's at all accurate.

[And he pauses because he really has to think. It doesn't take him long before he seems to recite something from memory.]

"The Cradle Project. The details of the project are under lock and key. Only those operatives who are assigned to work on the project are aware of what it entails. If it is a success, it could be the savior of humanity as we know it. The team tasked with carrying out the project currently are researching the ethical, psychological, and epidemiological issues that arise from the project's nature."

So...killing project doesn't exactly fit in there, but I'd thought maybe the Admiral changed her mind or something.

Huh. Where'd we find this out? But...you know what that sounds a lot better than what we're actually fucking doing. Petition to hit whoever changed the mission upside the head?

[ preferably with something painful. ]

Dude, we have swords. We can do more than hit them upside the head. [And here he frowns lightly.] It's info somebody found in the archives. Understandably it's not down there anymore but figured that might be important.

...makes me wonder about the stuff we found upstairs, too. What was that all about?

Idk. I'm thinking us not being...us body wise might be an option? Androids or whatever. Or if we were supposedly slaughtered like...this could be some sort of inbetween death thing?

[ just. casually discusses limbo nbd. ]

As to the water ball - server room maybe? Alice is always all water pour-y and shit.

I'm still not sure androids is the answer, but maybe it's because I don't really get what androids are. Did you really think I was kidding when I said I'm not around tech very much? Most of this is brand new to me.

...but I could maybe buy that we're in an in-between. [Other than he knows better, but he is trying to keep his word and will let someone else explain.] When we die back home, we have to go into the Underworld and wait to be judged and sorted into one of three places. Maybe that's it.

And that could explain why we can't override Alice's programming. She shut that door pretty fast. Bet she didn't think we could break in.

I mean, do you know what robots are? They're just like. Computers shaped like people I guess but we could've been uploaded into them and just like. All of this is an electric dream, idk.

[ look...his canon doesn't make sense he doesn't expect this to make sense either??? god why did allen have to contact him and drag dave into this ]

I get the feelin' even with how power zapped we all are, some of our powers are still a headache...and tbh she deserves the migraine.

[And here's a light smack behind the head.] Yes I know what robots are. But we also have automatons back home. Machinery with magic infused in them, more or less. Moving statues. I've fought a bunch of those before.

I don't know how they could have infused our powers though but that could explain why we only have part of them? But don't you think our friends from the other side would know if we were robots? They would've figured it out when they died, I think.

[ wow rude??? but he doesn't dodge it at least. this isn't the kind of blow bro would give, but it's...almost the kind of blow he should have been giving dave. not serious. ]

Huh. Sounds kinda neat, but also like a fucking headache.

And yeah, you're probs right re: robots. It sounds like the dead peeps haven't given up, though, you know? I mean. They're bothering to try to help us now, so...let's try to find a way to make the dead thing stop being a thing, I guess? Because honestly fuck that.

[It's absolutely not serious, worry not flash-ninja.]

Trust me, it was more than a headache. You try running away from a twenty-foot bronze statue in downtown New York. Then we'll talk.

[He seems to consider something, rubbing at his scar thoughtfully for af ew moments.] First there were the original letters through Furry Passing. And now there's this. The most we can do is try to put stuff together. [He nods.] I'll talk to everybody else, see if I can't convince 'em to talk to you about what else they know. They say yes, you gotta follow my lead and only pretend you know what I confirm you know. Can you do that?

Dude, no, I've had to fight enough stupid shit in my lifetime already. Imps only get dumber as you get further in.

[ and prototype increasingly idiotic stuff. beta kids, why. ]

But yeah, I can do that no problemo. Strider poker face ain't just for show.

[ like. sometimes it is. but he can be business when he has to be! ]

What an imp--you know what, never mind. Tell me later.

[He seems pleased though.] Good man. That's what I like to hear. [There's just one more thing...] ...you tell Roxy about all of this already?

Nah, hasn't come up yet. Idk if she's been chit-chatting the dead or not?

[ since he has been. distracted. ]

[There's a very short pause.]

...you're probably not gonna like this, but maybe it's something you should keep to yourself. If Roxy brings it up, fine, but. [He's thinking about what he's already heard from the others.] You know I like Roxy and I know she's your...mom...somehow. But this kind of stuff shouldn't spread too far, you know what I mean? Everything we found out there today's fair game, but this is different. If she didn't hear from the dead there's probably a reason.

[And quickly, to justify himself:] Arumat mentioned that he trusted me. And it's hard to sleep when somebody's busy carrying on a whole chat conversation.

[ haha wow yeah he doesn't like that, eyebrows lowering and lips twitching down, but. ]

...Yeah, Allen said to be careful about who I talked to, too. And like...I get the feeling they want us to tell as few people as possible. Shit.

[ his mom is not an alien??????????? but it's not like saying that will make her 100% trustworthy to anyone but dave. ]

He also said he had no idea how to tell who was what, though. Which would have been super helpful.

[Sorry kiddo, them's the breaks. Trusting people is all well and good but you can't be too careful. Look what happened with Adelina. To his credit Luke at least looks vaguely apologetic.]

That seems to be the default warning. I probably shouldn't have been told at all by anybody. Guess that's why I'm a little surprised you told me first and not Roxy...and I thought you guys were staying in each other's rooms anyway. She slept through it?

[It doesn't matter other than he's just curious. Roxy please don't be an alien. Dave please don't be an alien, gods.] That makes sense too though. Not like we can tell too well on our end. What's being dead gonna change about that?

Nah, we don't always sleep over? Like. Especially when she wants to talk to me about my nonexistant love life.

[ he accidentally flirted with Yuno in that one trial, remember. ROXY HAS YET TO LET IT GO. ]

But she actually is a p heavy sleeper - at least in comparison to me. I can't sleep through shit. As to telling you, well...I had a deal with Arumat to tell him this kinda thing, can't do that now, and you...

[ how does he word it? ]

...I trust you. Not that I don't trust Mom, but she's not any better at putting pieces together than I am, here.

[There's a snort.] Yeah, well, I've heard moms are supposed to be embarrassing about this kind of thing. [He wouldn't know??? His mom was too busy yelling about his fate tbh.

But oh look, there goes another piece of Luke's soul shriveling up as he dies inside. This is stupid. This is so bad? Why do you people trust him? It's so much worse because it's Dave and Dave's a kid and Dave's a kid Luke likes and has sort of slated into the category of "must make sure he lives", so hearing that is a whole weird...thing.]

I can't believe you think somebody who sat next to a proximity mine can put pieces together better than you and your mom can. [It's the only thing he can say that isn't an awkward "thank you" or some other weird bullshit. But there's a grin he's not quite aware of. That did it. That absolutely sold him a bit because being alive for an extra two months sure has helped.] But that makes sense. Arumat was a really smart guy. We used to talk and compare notes about the ship and everything that was happening here, too.

[Poor Arumat. He rubs the back of his neck instead.] I'll do my best to help all of us make sense of everything. It's only fair that you guys figure out how to fight back and get out of here.

Eh. The guy I trust most in the world back home? Would have done the same thing. Dude once strapped a rocket pack to his back and blasted off to fight the endgame boss. At level one. Because an internet troll told him to.

[ his voice is full of affection but goddamnit john egbert why do you do the things you do? ]

And sure thing. If it comes down to a fight, leave it to me...I'm gonna keep an eye on a way to reverse the dead thing, because there's always some kinda bullshit loophole. We just gotta exploit it.

And now I'm just starting to question your judgment in friends a little bit. [He can't help but snicker anyway.] But then again, guy sounds incredibly brave or incredibly stupid. I'd like to meet somebody like that.

[Please never put in him a situation he has to meet John Egbert, he will probably die all over again.]

If it's a fight, you're not the only one getting in on that. [He nods to Backbiter which has been sorely neglected this whole conversation.] That thing's not just for show. But loopholes...it's what I've been saying since the beginning. [He almost believes it, too.] Let me talk to people and I'll come find you if we're all in agreement. Cool?

Yep. Talk to you later, bro.

[ dave nods casually. ]

I'm not that hard to find, usually.

monday evening;

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